Are We Done Fighting?

Relationships

The Relationship Dilemma: Judgment vs. Acceptance

Matthew Legge on February 26, 2024

Standard advice tells you to be accepting. But is that helpful for your relationships? Here are the other strategies.

Standard advice tells you to be accepting. But is that helpful for your relationships? Here are the other strategies.

Relationships

Listening: Your Key to Success

Matthew Legge on August 1, 2023

You'll be amazed by how powerful listening can be. It's not just about being civil. If you want to be influential and improve your relationships, listening is essential.

You'll be amazed by how powerful listening can be. It's not just about being civil. If you want to be influential and improve your relationships, listening is essential.

Anxiety

Why Your Presence Alone Is Surprisingly Powerful

Matthew Legge on May 2, 2023

Being present with someone without even speaking is a powerful act. Evidence from eye gazing to negotiation studies explains this power.

Being present with someone without even speaking is a powerful act. Evidence from eye gazing to negotiation studies explains this power.

Neuroscience

Want to Move On After a Painful Fight? Try a Ritual

Matthew Legge on February 2, 2023

Are you feeling stuck in a conflict? This science explains how rituals are powerful ways to transform your feelings and embody improved relationships.

Are you feeling stuck in a conflict? This science explains how rituals are powerful ways to transform your feelings and embody improved relationships.

Sleep

Beware the Popular Idea That You Know a Hidden Truth

Matthew Legge on November 3, 2022

A simple idea—that your side is awake to the secret way things are while everyone else sleepwalks—made its way across intense ideological divides.

A simple idea—that your side is awake to the secret way things are while everyone else sleepwalks—made its way across intense ideological divides.

Conformity

One Easy Change in Perspective Can Deepen Your Understanding

Matthew Legge on August 4, 2022

You know who you are and what you stand for. And sometimes it’s miles away from the people you disagree with. Or is it? One simple tool will help you find out.

You know who you are and what you stand for. And sometimes it’s miles away from the people you disagree with. Or is it? One simple tool will help you find out.

Grief

Your Emotions Are Fundamental

Matthew Legge on May 2, 2022

What you think you know about emotions may be wrong, which can drive bitter conflicts. These tips will help you better understand your emotions.

What you think you know about emotions may be wrong, which can drive bitter conflicts. These tips will help you better understand your emotions.

Trauma

Mental Health, Trauma, and the Nonprofit Sector

Matthew Legge on April 12, 2022

In helping professions, there can sometimes be shame, guilt, and weakness associated with needing to step back and catch one’s breath.

In helping professions, there can sometimes be shame, guilt, and weakness associated with needing to step back and catch one’s breath.

Humor

Humor and Humiliation

Matthew Legge on March 30, 2022

Why would someone take the dangerous risk of getting in a physical fight over something as apparently meaningless as a bad joke, even one in poor taste?

Why would someone take the dangerous risk of getting in a physical fight over something as apparently meaningless as a bad joke, even one in poor taste?

Health

Victimhood Is Tearing Us Apart

Matthew Legge on February 10, 2022

Victimhood narratives are driving explosive conflicts like protests against public health measures.

Victimhood narratives are driving explosive conflicts like protests against public health measures.

Relationships

Thich Nhat Hanh, Quantum Physics, and Relationships

Matthew Legge on January 26, 2022

Quantum physicists, philosophers, and Zen Buddhists have converged on this idea. And it can help strengthen your relationships.

Quantum physicists, philosophers, and Zen Buddhists have converged on this idea. And it can help strengthen your relationships.

Bias

Improve Conflict by Setting Boundaries

Matthew Legge on September 23, 2021

Frustrating conversations often feature people talking past each other. The meaning of commonly used words can differ from person to person.

Frustrating conversations often feature people talking past each other. The meaning of commonly used words can differ from person to person.

Media

When Polarization Is Beneficial

Matthew Legge on July 27, 2021

Wikipedia and the social media platform Polis provide encouraging examples of how polarization can be navigated for positive results.

Wikipedia and the social media platform Polis provide encouraging examples of how polarization can be navigated for positive results.

Anxiety

The Rise of Self-Censorship

Matthew Legge on July 5, 2021

Self-censorship is on the rise among those on both the right and left in the U.S., regardless of how moderate or extreme their views actually are. This has multiple important implications.

Self-censorship is on the rise among those on both the right and left in the U.S., regardless of how moderate or extreme their views actually are. This has multiple important implications.

Stress

Why It's Better to Stay Curious Than to Make Assumptions

Matthew Legge on April 14, 2021

Curiosity has some powerful proven benefits, from helping people respond better to stress to reducing stereotyping.

Curiosity has some powerful proven benefits, from helping people respond better to stress to reducing stereotyping.

Persuasion

You’re Not an Individual, and Here’s Why

Matthew Legge on March 5, 2021

Research shows that so much of what you feel and do depends on your social networks.

Research shows that so much of what you feel and do depends on your social networks.

Cognition

Experts Use This Trick to Transform Conflicts

Matthew Legge on February 17, 2021

This shift in the way you think about conflicts can make you more powerful in analyzing them and in getting your needs met.

This shift in the way you think about conflicts can make you more powerful in analyzing them and in getting your needs met.

Personality

Is That Literally True?

Matthew Legge on January 14, 2021

Muddled conversations can cause all kinds of problems in your life. Here's a simple fix for a common communication mistake.

Muddled conversations can cause all kinds of problems in your life. Here's a simple fix for a common communication mistake.

Embarrassment

These 4 Steps Will Help When You’re Stuck

Matthew Legge on November 18, 2020

How is it that some of us get stuck, while others make major changes look effortless? Experts suggest that these four steps are key.

How is it that some of us get stuck, while others make major changes look effortless? Experts suggest that these four steps are key.

Artificial Intelligence

Interpreting your partner is harder than you imagine!

Matthew Legge on October 9, 2020

An incredible example—not knowing you're talking to an AI chatbot—illustrates a common problem in bitter societal conflicts: the challenge of interpretation.

An incredible example—not knowing you're talking to an AI chatbot—illustrates a common problem in bitter societal conflicts: the challenge of interpretation.