Verified by 
Having mediated thousands of divorces I have acquired some knowledge over the years of what acts and omissions reliably contribute to divorce.
I have also learned that marriages generally don't break over a specific event but rather erode over time as spouses fail to feed the marriage what it needs to thrive. I also know that most divorces are expensive and that is common for each lawyer to ask for a retainer of $3,000 to $5,000. So this post is designed to help you finance your divorce gradually as you engage in those behaviors that slowly damage and eventually destroy your marriage.
Here is what you should do. First, buy a good size piggy bank. Every time you commit one of the acts listed below, or anytime your spouse commits one, you deposit the required amount in your piggy bank. This way, by the time you need a retainer you will have saved it. You will want to count the money in your piggy bank once a year because it may serve as a guide to how close you are to divorce. Be sure to share this data with your spouse.
Go to bed angry with your spouse. $3.
Spend an entire day without expressing affection
or praising your spouse. $3.
Make a sarcastic comment to your spouse. $5.
Raise your voice in anger to your spouse. $3.
Do the above and fail to apologize. $5.
Dismiss as unimportant an issue raised by your
spouse. $7.
Install a TV in the kitchen. $20.
Watch TV while eating together. $10.
Spend a night in bed with your spouse and make no
gesture of affection such as a kiss or caress. $5.
Refuse a request from your spouse for sex for the
second time in a row unless you have a note
from your doctor. $7.
Refuse a request from your spouse for sex for
the fifth time in a row unless you have a note
from your mother. $30.
Roll your eyes at something said by your spouse. $5.
Refuse a request to go to counseling with your spouse. $100.
( almost 100% predictive of divorce.)
Spend a year and not take a vacation with your
spouse while leaving the children home. $25.
Schedule so many activities for your children that
you leave no time for your marriage. Each week pay: $5.
Be upset with your spouse and not raise it because you
believe it pointless to discuss it. $10.
When your spouse raises an issue stonewall
and refuse to discuss it. $50.
You fail to learn what actions by you bring
pleasure to your spouse. $50.
Although this list is by no means exhaustive it represents a good sample. Readers are invited and requested to add to the list.
