5 Things That Could Make Cheating More Likely

Infidelity is one of the oldest challenges to long-term monogamy that humans have encountered. As sex therapist Esther Perel points out in The State of Affairs, “despite its widespread denunciation, infidelity has a tenacity that marriage can only envy. So much so that it is the only sin that gets two commandments in the Bible, one for doing it and one just for thinking about it.”

Estimates of cheating range from 20-25% among married couples to approximately 75% of males and 68% women who are non-married but romantically committed—depending on the study and the criteria considered for what constitutes cheating. No one knows infidelity’s exact prevalence because many of us are loathe to admit we’ve betrayed a present or past partner, plus there’s growing ambiguity over what exactly infidelity entails. (Does it count if you pay the person? If it’s only virtual? If it’s someone of the same sex? If no clothes are removed? If it’s just an emotional affair?)

Regardless of the number of us who have or have not cheated, it’s important to know what factors make someone more likely to cheat in the first place. This helps us adjust our expectations about potential long-term partners and protect ourselves from getting hurt. (It also doesn’t hurt that it can increase insight into our own inclinations.)

Here are five factors that can increase a person’s likelihood of cheating:

1. Moral Disengagement

Even individuals who firmly believe cheating is wrong may commit infidelity. Some research suggests that this is due to a mental strategy called moral disengagement—the ability to disregard one’s own internal moral compass and behave in ways that violate one’s own standards without feeling guilty.

A 2023 study by Austrian researchers found that individuals who scored higher on moral disengagement measures were more likely to cheat on their partners. (They were also more paranoid about being cheated on—a testament to projection, or the belief that others are thinking, feeling or doing what you are).

Consider asking yourself or your partner some questions from this moral disengagement measure to gauge the likelihood of cheating in your relationship. If one or both of you score high, it’s worth having a discussion about how you both might navigate instances of infidelity should they occur.

2. Past Infidelity

Though people can cheat once or twice and never again, prior instances of cheating are a strong predictor of future instances. A 2018 Archives of Sexual Behavior study following 484 adults across two separate relationships found that partners who cheated in the first were three times more likely to cheat in the next. Learning more about your partner’s history of infidelity may help clue you in to the likelihood of them betraying you.

3. ADHD

Not all people with ADHD cheat on their partners. But some research suggests that having ADHD may increase an individual's vulnerability to cheating, given that they may be more drawn toward novelty and higher levels of stimulation. People with ADHD also can struggle with executive functions like impulse control, behavioral inhibition, and the consideration of longer-term consequences in the presence of something highly engaging (like an affair partner). One potential upside? Individuals with ADHD are more likely to be adventurous bed, which can certainly be advantageous to their partners. (It’s not all bad news here.)

4. (Some) Personality Disorders

It may not surprise you to learn that people who have narcissistic personality disorder are far more likely to cheat than those who do not. (Deficits in empathy and perspective taking, an insatiable need to feel admired, higher impulsivity and a sense of entitlement help explain this.) Borderline personality disorder also raises the likelihood that someone will cheat, given that individuals with this condition struggle with impulsivity and are more likely to seek validation and attention through sexual behavior or to obtain relief or distraction from a fear of abandonment by their primary partners through an affair or one-night stand.

Infidelity Essential Reads

The Paradox of Infidelity: Unveiling Why Happy Partners Cheat

The 5 Most Common Reasons Why Women Cheat

5. Summer

Apparently cheating has a seasonal peak. People are more likely to commit infidelity in the summer months, according to a 2017 Florida State University study. This may be because travel increases during summer months, thus facilitating opportunities to cheat. Temptation may seem less resistible in warmer weather as people wear skimpier outfits and work demands wane, leaving more time to act on impulses. Heat can also sap the self-control we need to decline a licentious romp with a highly appealing other person who isn’t our partner. Keep this in mind when temperatures start to rise again.

Conclusion

If any of the above factors ring true for your partner (or for yourself), don’t panic. These aren’t immutable prophecies; they’re simply indicators that cheating may be more likely. If you do see these factors in a partner or in yourself (or it’s getting hot outside) you may wish to have a conversation with your mate about their thoughts and feelings on affairs. It’s helpful to come to an agreement on what each of you considers cheating, where each of your boundaries are, and how you would both handle an episode of cheating if it arose. This is a critical conversation for couples to have, and it can open the door to learning and communicating about what you and your partner need in order to stave off infidelity over the long haul. It can also illuminate how you may need to adjust your expectations, and serve as a gut check on whether you’re comfortable remaining in a relationship with someone who may be more likely to cheat on you—or whether you or your partner may simply not be comfortable with long-term monogamy to begin with.

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