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In each early recollection, there is a lesson learned about the way life is. At times, the message is conveyed in a way that a person becomes aware that this is how life is going to be and that they had better get used to it.
Recently, Mary Ellen, a retired classroom teacher, shared a first memory in a group setting that represents a way of understanding her lived existence of 82 years: "I was 4 years old, living in Dorchester, Massachusetts. We lived in St. Matthew's Parish, and the school was about a half-mile from our three-decker house. My mother could not walk with me to school, and I had to go by myself." In relating the most important part of the memory, Mary Ellen said, "I was afraid, and it occurred to me that I was too little to walk alone." In response to her feelings about the most vivid part of the memory, she stated, "I was the oldest of 10 kids, and probably realized that this was the way it was going to be."
The theme of Mary Ellen's first memory conveys a sense of reality and an acknowledgment that she has to rely on herself to get by in life. In spite of fears and doubts about her degree of readiness, she recognizes that it is necessary to strive and make the best of a situation. This is the way it is.
From a perspective of personality variables, Mary Ellen is an active person. She enjoys being busy and accomplishing tasks. She is not one to wait for others to get her going but instead moves forward by making an effort to get things done. Mary Ellen demonstrates strong social interest as she feels a kinship and sense of belonging with others. In particular, she likes to assist other people in helpful ways that recognize the challenges that they encounter in life.
Mary Ellen has an optimistic view of life that is sketched in with its realities which can be difficult. Ultimately, however, she feels that making an effort enhances the prospect of the likelihood of positive events. Although Mary Ellen has faced numerous challenges in life, she also feels capable of surmounting difficulties and persevering. Mary Ellen is highly conscientious and can be relied upon to follow through on responsibilities, even though they may not be easy.
Relating to perceptual modalities, Mary Ellen has a sense of place in the neighborhood of childhood events in Dorchester. On the occasions that she revisits the area and sees the three-decker houses, it feels like home. At the same time, Mary Ellen is able to bring some of this same quality of being at home with the people she loves through her family activities, volunteer work, and reminders of her teaching career with children.
There is a life lesson learned in an early recollection, and how the instruction is taken defines the uniqueness of a person. How an individual construes the meaning of the memory may be constructive or far less purposeful. For Mary Ellen, she found a resilience in the midst of a vulnerable experience. Her life lesson serves her well and contributes to a life of purpose and well-being.
