Give Yourself a Pat on the Back!

Are you hard on yourself? If I am speaking to you please start giving yourself a pat on the back for a job well done. As a life coach to a group of men at a recovery home; A Mission For Michael in Southern California, I try my best to give them the accolades for simply showing up and trying to do the work. These men are in recovery from severe substance use and abuse and they want to be better NOW and they tend to get down on themselves if they are not receiving the message that is being taught. In other words, they are hard on themselves.

It is time to start looking at the good you have done over the last year and so far this year. Ask yourself some introspective questions. A girlfriend of mine had gave me a project, to answer some questions that would help me see the good I have done. This is not to boast or put yourself on a pedestal, but rather it is to help you see that you are a good person and have accomplished some things. If you did not accomplish what you wish you had, then make some changes. Ask yourself some questions that will help open your heart and channels that will lead you to the person you desire to be.

Did you make any decisions and take action that made you proud of yourself? Did this take you out of your comfort zone? Stepping outside of that zone can be a bit anxiety provoking, but it is amazing when you do something like this you see what you are able to accomplish. Do you doubt yourself? Doubting yourself will only lead you to complacency and complacency is not a good place to be. We must continue to do what we can to learn so we can grow into better people. By being better people we are able to serve others. What was the most important lesson you learned and what brought you the most joy? Was last year all about you or did you influence someone to help them grow into better people? Did this bring you gratitude? I hope so. When we give to others at a time when we are stuck in our own head, the best thing we can do is give our time to others in need. I don't know what it this is. Maybe it is almost virtually impossible to happy and depressed at the same time. Stepping out of yourself and step into the world of someone else who really needs to be appreciated can bring you the most joy. Try it, it is fun and definitely rewarding. It makes you appreciate what you have instead of being depressed over what you do not.

The next thing to evaluate is this; what are you going to give up this year? Meaning, are you going to hold on to dysfunctional friendships and relationships? Don't you think it is time to eliminate those people who zap your energy and your time? Set some personal boundaries. Boundaries are not about being nasty, but rather setting up rules for yourself of how YOU want to live YOUR life. Instead of being that YES person to everyone at your own expense, say, "I am unable to do that today, but maybe next Thursday." Can you see how empowering that can be? You all of the sudden are taking control of your life and how you live it. This will prevent overwhelm, exhaustion and maybe even depression because you feel you can't do it all for everyone.

Now, what are you wanting more of in this year? Love, Finances, Promotion, Kindness, Health? Whatever it is, make it a goal to attain it. If you want love, I hope you know it starts with you. You have to have a love affair with yourself first, then others. How can you like or love someone if you don't feel the same towards yourself. Finances, ok, what are you going to do differently this year to add some more income to your account? Find supplemental income by joining a network marketing company; Kangen Water, Amerisciences, both of which I do with my family; tap into what you are already good at and doing every day and actually get paid to do it. Check out Loral Langmeier's books, any of them; they are all great. Do you get the picture? Sit in a quiet place and make a plan, don't just think about it and keep it in your head, get it out on paper and make a concrete plan on what you are going to do daily, weekly and monthly to get you closer to what you really want.
And, no matter what, don't get hard on yourself. Remember, life is a marathon not a sprint. Take baby steps and you will get closer to becoming the person you desire to be.

Have a great month everyone!

To keep in contact with me, feel free. I look forward to hearing your successes.
Hugs,
Because Every One Needs Them.
tanya@tanyabrown.net