Beating the Odds

Facing impossible odds, yet consistently beating those odds, is not about luck: It’s about skill. Skill isn’t a talent you’re born with; it’s teachable. Anyone can learn it. Even me.

Both of my grandmothers lived well into their 90’s. Perhaps that gave me a genetic “edge” in surviving multiple bouts of high-grade brain cancer. But even with a familial predisposition toward longevity, adaptability is the real reason for my long-term survival. Charles Darwin called the ability to physically adapt to our environment “evolution.” By its very definition, evolution doesn’t stop…so, why do we, particularly when faced with what we perceive of as insurmountable odds?

What kind of insurmountable odds?

Try being given a two-year prognosis after a recurrence of high-grade brain cancer, but instead, surviving nearly two decades.

Part of why an individual decides to “give up” when faced with “impossible” odds is not because the odds are actually impossible to overcome. As any good statistician can tell you, odds are formulated guesses founded on a variety of factors. Those factors are not always representative of the truth. My doctor gave me rather terrible odds based on what he perceived to be the truth. But clearly, the truth my doctor believed in was not the same as my reality. But it could have been, had I accepted the statistics my doctor had given me.

Cancer patients are a vulnerable population. That vulnerability translates into desperation. Doctors are just people—not prophets, and certainly not psychics. But it’s hard to maintain perspective when you’re told you will die, even after you do every treatment recommended. That made me wonder… perhaps all those recommended treatments are part of the problem? If I was going to die in two years anyway, why not give myself the authority to research what worked best for my needs as an individual?

Human beings base much of how we feel and what we think on what other people feel and think. The truth has very little to do with it. As a result, our perception is based on the perceived truths of others, not actual facts. And, I’m living proof.

Perception studies are used by corporations to gauge how and why investors think and feel in the same way mall retailers have learned that playing certain music and having certain scents will influence a customer’s impulse control.[i] Because our thoughts and feelings can be deliberately manipulated by others, so can our perceptions. Sometimes, perception and reality still match up. But, not always. Understanding how we perceive ourselves (and each other) has more to do with cultural attitudes than almost anything else…welcome to the world of postmodernism!

Postmodernism began to evolve after World War II but didn’t get integrated into social systems until the late ’60s and early ’70s. In postmodern theory, or the study of shifting socio-cultural attitudes in the late 20th and early 21st centuries, the individual is seen as both valid and valuable just for existing; this is quite the opposite from modernism where “the greater good” was of more concern than an individual’s rights and/or needs. Ignoring individual rights was taken to an extreme through things like the Holocaust, which is really how (and why) postmodern thought began to develop. You can see postmodernism reflected in social movements like Civil Rights and Women’s Liberation. Thanks to postmodernism, an individual’s positionality was suddenly recognized not just socially, but legally as well.

What is positionality?

Positionality is the acknowledgment that everything from how you physically look to your geographic location, to your parents' education level and religious beliefs, makes you the unique individual you are. And, how ALL of that uniqueness creates a totally unique perspective. That very uniqueness is what makes each of us an individual. It is our individuality (and need to express it) that contributed to technological advents like the iPhone—the “i” is representative of the “individual.”

Postmodern thought has made a major impact on how we see ourselves, as well as the rest of the world. So, when we talk about things like perception, it is not exactly a simple matter of physical sensory input. It’s also not just about how you were treated as a child either. You can be educated or not. You can believe in any god you want, or no god at all. You can live anywhere in the world, too. No matter who you are, your perception of reality is influenced from the moment you are born by your positionality. And, that’s ultimately where we have to start in order to begin learning the skills needed to survive anything. Without that basic recognition of who you are and where you come from (as an individual), you can only ever rely on how others see you. Giving others authority over who you are can add up to the difference between life and death, or, success and failure.

Self-awareness (or mindfulness) is the first step in learning how to cope with life’s obstacles. You must be able to give yourself authority over your own life. You have to trust yourself. Believe in yourself. None of which is easy, I know… but you can learn to be more resourceful and resilient.

In psychology, acceptance is an important part of the grieving process. The word “acceptance” means acknowledging an occurrence outside of your control. But I do not want you to accept those things that are beyond your influence… I want you to think of ways to empower yourself regardless of what’s happening around you. You are the star of your own life. You are your own epic hero. Together, we will find ways to regain agency when the consequences of the actions of others negatively impact the world around us. Yes, we can all be victimized, but that does not mean we have to remain victims.

None of us are here to just survive; we are all here to thrive. My goal is to help readers live longer and stronger for a lifetime of success. Victory is always within reach, no matter what the odds are against you. Once you realize that, you can truly survive anything.