Why Growth Mindset Theory Fails Children

I

Parents can love children simply for who they are

Source: Emma Bauso/Pexels

In March, I wrote a blog post describing how the theory of growth mindset has become a pretext for the mistreatment of children across the K-12 educational system. This piece generated a lot of interest, and I’ve been fortunate to receive feedback from many readers describing their experiences as either students or parents of students who have been harmed by it. Some readers asked clarifying questions, which I’d like to follow up on here.

Question 1: Won’t a growth mindset be necessary for kids to adapt to the world of tomorrow?

Bigger is not always better for adaptation. In fact, adapting is often antithetical to growing. The fate of the dinosaurs, for example, demonstrates that even in nature, adaptation often calls for animals to shrink, or simply morph, to survive. Evidence shows us that on a social and individual level, it’s also true that we have to let some things go to succeed at others, and even then we eventually hit a point where trying to succeed further becomes maladaptive perfectionism. A Harvard Business Review (Spicer, 2018) article I cited explores the scientific foundations of this truth.

Instead of pathologically pushing to be perfect or obsessively expanding our intellect at the expense of other attributes, what will actually serve children's future is a strong foundation of mental health, including social skills, empathy, and resilience that isn’t based on the fear of inferiority. Allowing kids to become the best versions of themselves, and not who we as adults decree they should be, is the best way to help them adapt for success in the future.

Question 2: Is praising only effort and not outcomes the way to go?

I my view, the guidance some experts give about praising only effort is based on a false assumption. When we ask parents what success is for their child, they say it’s being a good person. When we ask kids how their parents define success, they say academic achievement, prestige, and, eventually, a high-paying career. Experts then make a logical leap to explain this gap: that children must be receiving positive reinforcement only when they achieve, so they are not understanding the intended message that their parents love them just because they tried.

I have observed a different explanation for this gap: When parents are asked by experts how they define success for their child and they reply it’s just being a good person, many are at best being disingenuous even with themselves; at worst, they are outright lying. Kids know what their parents say in private and also what their parents really mean through the emotional content of messages. I generally do not see a disconnect between what parents authentically expect and what kids understand. I think too many parents really place disproportionate importance on academic success—and, to a degree, their love is conditional upon that.

Question 3: Is rewarding only outcomes the way to go?

In the K-12 educational system, growth is definitely synonymous with a maladaptive obsession with outcomes. One might argue that in a theoretical sense, growth mindset doesn’t require such obsession, but the word “growth” (as opposed to “change” or “adaptation”) implies directionality, and directionality implies predictable states in the future (i.e. outcomes).

In any case, the situation on the ground is that kids across the country are being told, “If you don’t score 100 on the test, it’s your fault because you didn’t have a growth mindset.” This amounts to a “faith healing” approach to education. This is why we see kids spending 18 hours per day stressing over studying and second graders having panic attacks after getting an A- on a spelling test.

If the goal is to help children adapt to the future, rewarding only effort is a huge misstep. Our society, and nature itself, rewards outcomes. Major tech companies don’t structure their compensation packages based on which employees put in the most effort, but how much value they bring to the table.

However, the opposite extreme of rewarding only outcomes can be just as problematic. I acknowledge and support the importance of outcomes— I’m just calling for a balance between stressing outcomes while also leaving substantial time for kids to be just kids and also to do some things for their own sake (which is different from “effort”; it could just be hanging out with their friends, the opposite of effort). Overall, I advocate communicating our affection for our children in all contexts.

Growth Mindset Essential Reads

Make Up Your Mind: Benefits of a Growth Mindset

You Have Three Options When You Face a Loss This Year

Question 4: Does growth mindset really imply our intelligence can be changed if we believe hard enough?

Yes. That incredible claim lies at the forefront of growth mindset theory (Dweck, 2008, p. 11). There’s no reason to believe intelligence can be changed by our mindset any more than can left-handedness or the need for eyeglasses. It’s the same magical thinking behind so many false promises throughout history.

Question 5: Even if growth mindset theory isn’t true, is there any harm to educators believing in it?

It can be extremely harmful in many ways, some of which I touched on in my previous article and some of which I’ll explore in the future. I’ll provide one very clear example here. Children of color face external barriers to academic success that are the result of systemic racism and in no way a reflection on their inherent ability. As such, they are particularly impacted by being told that the means to succeed lies within them if they just want it badly enough.

The tragic reality is that there are intractable systemic barriers to their success entirely outside of their control. Again, one may argue that in a purely theoretical sense growth mindset would acknowledge this, but on the ground, Black children are being told they’re not succeeding because they just didn’t have a growth mindset. We’d do much better as parents and educators by diverting time and effort away from growth mindset theory and onto dismantling the systemic racism that is the real culprit holding children back.

Overall, I am calling for a healthy balance between self-acceptance in the present and adaptation for the future. Self-acceptance, in some sense, could even be considered the very definition of mental health. But by prescribing limitless growth as always the best approach to any situation, growth mindset is the opposite of that. We’re never “good enough”.

A much healthier approach to is to balance a rational (and limited) adaptation for the future with being happy with children as they are right now. Both of these steps are sorely lacking in the growth mindset model.