Becoming a Mindful CEO of Your Own Life

We live in a culture that idealizes a busy life but the vilification of idle time comes at a cost. If we stay in constant motion, we risk keeping our brains on constant alert, limiting our intelligence and creativity. The reality is we need downtime to untangle our thoughts and tap into our emotions.

To appreciate the value of taking the time to turn inward, it is helpful to understand how our brains operate. In some moments, we need to be highly focused on a task, and in other moments, it is necessary to have open awareness or social connection. Each self-state that rises to meet these different situations is associated with a unique pattern of neural system activation.

Consider the operation of a successful corporation. In order for it to run smoothly, it’s essential that the company hires a skilled Chief Operations Officer (COO) who can oversee operations and administrative tasks. They also need a talented Chief Security Officer (CSO) to manage security and a Chief Talent and Culture Officer (CTCO), who is tasked with overseeing the personnel and culture of the company. Finally, there’s a Chief Executive Officer (CEO) who sits at the apex of the organization. She monitors the pulse of the company by gathering information from the rest of the C-Suite and synthesizing it into an overall plan of action. She knows the importance of each individual executive, values their contributions, and encourages them to work together as smoothly as possible.

Within each of us, a C-Suite of neural systems guides us in navigating our social and physical worlds—this is the essence of what we refer to as executive functioning. In this post, we will hone in on the networks of the CTCO, which are related to our self-awareness, social intelligence, and emotional processing.

Think of the last time you were truly alone with your thoughts. You may have been soaking in the bath or sitting in traffic. The minimal effort required in these activities allows you to shift from a state of doing to one of simply being. Your attention can float to the pleasant sensation of the hot bath water or follow daydreams while you sit bumper to bumper. Thoughts that have been patiently sitting in the back of our minds—whether it’s the inkling that we are dissatisfied with our job or a longing to be more honest in our relationship—come into clearer focus.

The Default Mode Network, the neural systems which seem to be responsible for reflection and imagination, corresponds to the Chief Talent and Culture Officer in our model of an inner executive suite. It is a place of internal solace and safety where we can reflect on ourselves and our relationships with others. As we navigate the endless distractions of the modern world, we have to take the time to remember who we are and what’s important to us so we can navigate our lives with intention. Doing this work can help us in the following ways:

Self-Awareness and Identity

Self-awareness and identity require the ability to reflect on past memories and imagine future scenarios. Through this process of mental time travel, we can weave our experiences into a cohesive narrative so that we can make sense of our lives and cultivate a sense of who we are. We can take stock of our core emotions, thoughts, and desires and use this knowledge to make necessary changes and guide future decisions.

Reflection Question:

• What situations in my life are going well right now? What does this teach me about what I value and desire (i.e., I value a job where I feel autonomy, or I feel fulfilled in relationships where I feel understood)? Remember, these will be different for everyone—some people thrive in independence, while others crave collaboration, just as everyone has different priorities in their relationships. Don’t take for granted that you already know these answers– what you discover in reflection might surprise you. (Remember that many of us have internalized societal expectations about what we should want, which can distort our awareness of our genuine wants and needs).

Creativity and Problem-Solving

Checking off to-do lists does not leave much mental space to muse on new ways of doing something. Creativity requires an initial investment of time to play with new ideas but has many benefits on the backend. Especially when we are stuck on a particular problem, creativity can be the quickest path to effective and innovative solutions. This is the reason that sometimes the best way to complete a difficult task is to simply pause and step away from it. This gives the creative processing systems of our brain the space to mentally rehearse new combinations and outcomes.

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Reflection Question:

• What is the status quo for tackling this situation? What about that has worked in the past and what has not? How could these factors be reconfigured?

Emotional Intelligence and Relationships

Activating this network in the brain supports our ability to connect with others while supporting our own subjective experience. By integrating our thoughts with our emotions, we are tapping into the multi-dimensional nature of social intelligence. We are feeling our way through relationships and enlisting in our cognition at the same time. Here, we can take the perspective of others without compromising our own needs. We can engage in compassionate conversation while still observing our boundaries and maintaining a sense of harmony in our social interactions.

Reflection Question:

• What’s happening inside of me in this relationship or social interaction? What am I really feeling (hurt, anger, sadness, fear)? Are there any feelings or memories from the past that are not relevant to this current situation? How can I take care of myself at this moment?