What the Three Little Pigs Can Tell Us About the Pandemic

When we have our first terrible loss, it comes as if “out of the blue.” It is a lot like this pandemic. We had no idea such a calamity was possible. It shatters our world.

To prepare for the next calamity coming from out of the blue, we brace ourselves for it by expecting it. Penn State professor of psychology Michelle Newman says, "People may be staying anxious to prevent a large shift in anxiety. People may make themselves anxious intentionally as a way to avoid the letdown they might get if something bad were to happen.”

If we brace ourselves by expecting disaster and no disaster takes place, we might get the idea that expecting loss prevents loss. When the things we worry about don’t end up happening the strategy is reinforced. We think, “I worried and it didn't happen so I should continue worrying,” Newman says.

The graphic used for this blog is a photograph of a talisman called the Hand of Fatima. It is worn as a defense against "the evil eye," which according to superstition watches us and will punish us if we do not worry.

In addition to bracing ourselves, we may wonder if cause and effect played a role. Searching for a possible cause, we look back to what was happening just before the loss occurred. Because we had never experienced a major loss, we were happy, relaxed, and unworried about anything going wrong. That gives us a eureka moment; we have broken the code. We suddenly understand that calamity is caused by being happy, by not expecting loss to happen, and by not being on guard.

Once we believe the loss was caused by being happy, unworried, and relaxed, we have to avoid that to keep awful things from happening. This may not seem logical to us as adults, but remember that this strategy is set up early in life based on egocentric childlike logic. Between the ages of 2 and 7, Piaget observed that children strongly believe their thinking determines what happens in the world around them.

Once we set protective magical thinking up in childhood, we are unlikely to give it up. Why should we? What is the payoff? Besides, giving it up would mean tempting fate.

In any case, since the illusion of control can take the edge off our anxieties, many were using—and unconsciously depending upon—magical thinking when the pandemic hit. This is a key reason the pandemic has had such an impact.

This should not have happened because we worried, because we are good people, because we said our prayers, because we said “God forbid,” because we knocked on wood, and because didn’t step on the cracks in the sidewalk.

In spite of our illusion of control, the pandemic happened. It shattered our illusion of control. Those of us who relied on prayer, devotion, ritual, or magical thinking feel “at a loss” about how to control the events that must be controlled to control anxiety.

Is there an answer? If magical thinking helped you reduce your anxiety by providing some degree of belief that things were under control, maybe it’s a good time to grips with the facts of life.

“The Three Little Pigs”: The first two pigs relied on the magical thinking that a house of sticks or straw would protect them from the big bad wolf. The third little pig didn’t rely on magical thinking. He built a house of bricks.

Some politicians are asking us to rely on magical thinking. Meanwhile, scientists are telling us we need bricks.

If COVID-19 has left you at a loss and shaken your trust in magical thinking, that—at least as therapists see it—is a good thing. Therapists believe most of us navigate through life better if our navigation is based on reality rather than on illusion. And how do we navigate this pandemic without unnecessary stress? I just finished a book on that subject, Panic Free Pandemic Workbook: Exercises To Calm Pandemic-Related Fear, Anxiety, and Claustrophobia.