Are You Getting Enough Affection From Your Partner?

In a 2014 study, Dr. Kory Floyd posed an important question: what happens when we don’t get enough affection? Drawing on work by Schutz, which positioned affection as one of our basic needs, he wanted to examine when this need was not met. He termed this "affection deprivation," specifically explaining it “as the longing for more affectionate touch (such as hugging, hand-holding, kissing, and other forms of tactile affection) than one receives” (p. 384).

Floyd found a number of interesting findings regarding 509 adults he studied and their experiences with affection deprivation (he summarized that work here). Recently, Drs. Hesse and Mikkelson extended this work by examining affection deprivation and specific relational outcomes.

Their study involved 401 individuals currently in romantic relationships who were roughly 31 years old. They found that individuals who reported higher levels of affection deprivation also reported lower levels of relationship closeness and satisfaction.

They also examined the role of relational uncertainty, “defined as the level of confidence people have about the perceptions of relationship involvement" (Knobloch, 2010; Theiss & Solomon, 2006. p. 6). They summarize their findings in the following way: Research suggests “that individuals high in uncertainty would perceive higher levels of deprivation from their romantic partner and that individuals experiencing high levels of both uncertainty and deprivation would be more pessimistic in regards to their relationship than individuals who were not high in uncertainty. These predictions were supported for both satisfaction and closeness, as the inverse relationships between deprivation and the outcome variable grew stronger as uncertainty levels rose. However, the moderation finding for commitment showed that the relationship between deprivation and commitment was significant and direct for individuals with high levels of uncertainty” (p.15).

I have written on multiple occasions about the importance of affection (as one example, see "Why Affection Enhances Means Everything in a Relationship"). Theory suggests and research supports that affection enhances closeness and reduces stress (see Floyd). Adding to this line of work, the studies examining affection deprivation provide specific support explaining how and why a lack of affection is problematic. Consequently, couples could benefit from a conversation about the amount of affection they give/receive, and whether that is too much or not enough.

Dr. Sean M. Horan is a Communication professor. Follow him on Twitter @TheRealDrSean. His expertise is communication across relationships, with topics including deception, affection, workplace romance, sexual risk/safety, attraction, deceptive affection, and initial impressions. His work/commentary has appeared on CNN, ABC, Fox, The Wall Street Journal, and more.

Floyd, K. (2014). Relational and health correlates of affection deprivation. Western Journal of Communication, 78, 383-403. doi: 10.1080/10570314.2014.927071

Hesse, C., & Mikkelson, A. C. (2016). Affection deprivation in romantic relationships. Communication Quarterly. doi: 10.1080/01463373.2016.1176942