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Key points
- Studies show spikes in cortisol related to clutter in the home, and women show higher spikes than men.
- Clutter may have a greater impact on women because they take on a disproportionate amount of mental labor.
- Women are more likely to feel that they carry the burden of "fixing" the clutter.
In 2010, a study was conducted on dual-income married couples with at least one child living in the home. The study showed that when the wife viewed a home as cluttered, her cortisol rates rose throughout the day whil
e those not experiencing a clutter problem noticed their cortisol levels dropped throughout the day.
In this study (and others), women tend to be more impacted by the stress of clutter than men. My hypothesis for this is that women are overwhelmed with the clutter because they know they have to carry the cognitive load of ultimately figuring it all out.
In most American homes, women carry the bulk of what’s called mental load. Mental load is any work that requires our brains—noticing, remembering, delegating, researching, etc.
When a woman sees clutter (yes, this is a generalization and might not apply to all), she doesn’t only notice the mess but begins to actively process what she is going to need to do next and how she will do it.
Cognitive Overload
Thinking through the act of navigating clutter can create cognitive overload, which results in a stressed state that can cause agitation, overwhelm, and shutdown. When this happens, people struggle to engage with their life in a way that they'd like to, possibly feeling so overburdened by where everything should go that they either shift into overdrive putting it all away or shut down completely, unable to take action.
A Balancing Act
Most families with young children cannot have picture-perfect homes. This is especially the case in dual-income homes. There just isn’t enough time in the day. And, they can still aim for some semblance of balance (while understanding nothing is ever totally balanced).
How do we get there?
1. Shedding: Many people have too much stuff and don’t know what to do with it. It’s important to learn how to minimize the items in your home. This might include having to do emotional work that helps you let go, but it’s important. You deserve mental space; get rid of stuff in your physical space to have it.
2. Preventing: Proactively looking for solutions to clutter can help. A common home organizing technique is to have "homes" for your things. By setting up these homes, you will need to “think less” when clutter arises because you know exactly where it goes.
In order to create these homes, start to make a list of the types of clutter you find around the house. Then, create a spot for it. For example, if you find piles of receipts lying around it means your receipts need a home so people know where to put them.
3. Adapting: Having a busy life likely means your home will not be perfect, so some things might remain a little cluttered or messy. This is where we want to work on adapting to how your life is right now—your kids won’t be little forever, and you, hopefully, won’t always be so busy. This is a season. Learning how to regulate and co-regulate with your partner during this period of time will help keep the cortisol levels lower.
