Celebrating Autistic Joy

When I was 17, I realized that my experience of the things I liked or simply happened to notice around me was more intense than my friends seemed to experience. When I tried to describe what I felt—for instance, after reading something exciting or seeing something beautiful—I was aware they didn't often resonate with or understand my experience.

I'd have high highs, which were sometimes triggered by seeing my favorite color or because something I was interested in was on the news. In my early 20s, I began to think I might have bipolar disorder, so intense were the feelings of joy, excitement, and euphoria that seemed different to most people I knew. This was at a time when I was also experiencing low mood and anxiety, which seemed to fit with the ups and downs of bipolar disorder.

Source: Dean Drobot, Canva

Recently, autistic joy has been receiving growing attention on social media and other outlets¹. I've been thinking about it for a long time, and my clients and I often discuss it in our work together.

Autistic joy tends to be characterized by a feeling of intensity, which is similar to the way in which autistic people experience the sensory world, their interests, and their emotions intensely. An example of what might bring me joy is color. When I notice color in nature or find the right color to paint a wall or buy a cushion with the right tone and color, I don't just like it; I feel a deeply intense feeling of joy throughout my entire body. I keep getting drawn back to it and can experience something like the flow state I might achieve with meditation.

Another example of intense joy that feels euphoric is when I'm working on a project or engaging in a special interest, and things finally fall into place. I feel so high in this state that it's difficult to engage with others or focus on the mundane things that need tackling. At other times, there's no clear trigger. I just feel a sense of intense joy about the world and myself in it.

Violet, a client, explained that she experienced great joy from noticing details others tend to miss. "Sometimes noticing things, like sounds, that other people don't hear can really bother me. But at other times, my mind takes in so much that it feels completely overwhelming, but in a good way. I feel completely filled with joy if I'm out walking in nature, and I'm taking in so much in terms of birdsong, the colors and smells around me, and the air on my face. Sometimes I cry with joy".

Anisha told me, "When I make a link or discover something new about my passions and interests, I want to share it with everyone. There's a sense that it's so fun, so interesting, and I've got so much joy out of learning about it that I want everyone to feel that same feeling."

Deanna explained that she wasn't religious in any traditional way, "but I experience what I think some religious experience would be like. I can sense things in this magnified, beautiful way and feel a sense of connectedness with the universe. For a few days, sometimes, I can feel overcome with joy that I feel, in a very physical way, all around me".

It's not just sensory experiences and interests that can cause a sense of joy. Connecting deeply with someone can trigger the same response, as my client Aisling explained. "I don't like many people. But when I click with someone, I get a jolt of joy. I want to be with them, share my passions, and feel completely energized in their presence."

At times, my clients and I have experienced negativity from others about our joyful feelings. Not everyone understands what it's like to feel that way, or they might only experience it on a handful of occasions in a lifetime in relation to significant life experiences like getting married or giving birth. Autistic people might experience intense joy far more frequently and in response to an internal experience or everyday triggers.

Anita described how other people "find it hard to know what I'm talking about. I used to get frustrated, especially if they made fun of me, but I'm fine now knowing that I'm experiencing something great and that some people just don't get it."

The level of joy that so many autistic people describe is a wonderful, fulfilling, and meaningful experience deserving of recognition and celebration.