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What to Expect When You Get the Unexpected

A mother’s notes on childhood mental illness

Education
Stuff Slips Through the Cracks

Deborah Vlock Ph.D. on September 27, 2018

Even your grandma forgot to pack Kleenex and hard candies in her purse once or twice when she knew you were gonna need them.

Even your grandma forgot to pack Kleenex and hard candies in her purse once or twice when she knew you were gonna need them.

Psychiatry
When The Apple Falls Close to the Tree

Deborah Vlock Ph.D. on June 28, 2015

In many cases, children with clinically significant psychiatric symptoms have a parent or other family member(s) with the same, often undiagnosed, issues.

In many cases, children with clinically significant psychiatric symptoms have a parent or other family member(s) with the same, often undiagnosed, issues.

Scaring Nemo?
Parenting
Overprotective Parenting Doesn't Work

Deborah Vlock Ph.D. on February 2, 2015

As it turns out, negotiating real-life, reasonable risk can be a very good thing for kids. It can teach them that they have power in this world--or someday will. That they’re competent. And that sometimes, if you really really want something to happen, you have to MAKE it happen, without mom or dad’s help--even if it’s scary to try.

As it turns out, negotiating real-life, reasonable risk can be a very good thing for kids. It can teach them that they have power in this world--or someday will. That they’re competent. And that sometimes, if you really really want something to happen, you have to MAKE it happen, without mom or dad’s help--even if it’s scary to try.

Relationships
Your Kid Has a Mental Health Disorder?

Deborah Vlock Ph.D. on January 1, 2015

I know it sounds corny, but Love helps. It does. Platonic or romantic or filial or parental or sibling love. Doesn’t matter, it’s all a healing balm. Spread it around generously. And wrap your wounded hearts in a gauze of generosity and forgiveness--for yourself, for each other, for the universe that dealt you a crappy hand.

I know it sounds corny, but Love helps. It does. Platonic or romantic or filial or parental or sibling love. Doesn’t matter, it’s all a healing balm. Spread it around generously. And wrap your wounded hearts in a gauze of generosity and forgiveness--for yourself, for each other, for the universe that dealt you a crappy hand.

Cognition
Committed to the Language of Mental Illness

Deborah Vlock Ph.D. on December 12, 2014

Words like "mania" and "Lithium" and "psychosis" can hurt a hell of a lot–especially when used in reference to your child. That’s why it’s a good idea to get to know the words you think may be coming after you. Knowing them can sometimes give you power over them–and over the things they represent.

Words like "mania" and "Lithium" and "psychosis" can hurt a hell of a lot–especially when used in reference to your child. That’s why it’s a good idea to get to know the words you think may be coming after you. Knowing them can sometimes give you power over them–and over the things they represent.

Health
Genetic Testing for Kids With Mental Health Disorders?

Deborah Vlock Ph.D. on November 16, 2014

If medical professionals are going to treat your heart disease, or your teen's bipolar disorder, with medications that won’t help and may even hurt, then they're not doing the job they signed up for. That's where genotyping can help.

If medical professionals are going to treat your heart disease, or your teen's bipolar disorder, with medications that won’t help and may even hurt, then they're not doing the job they signed up for. That's where genotyping can help.

Depression
Can a Daily Dose of Mozart Squelch Depression?

Deborah Vlock Ph.D. on November 2, 2014

I believe music heals inner wounds. Maybe the burdens we hefted would have been lighter if we’d only summoned melody, and harmony, and counterpoint, and the timbres and colors of all kinds of vocal expression, into our lives when we needed them most.

I believe music heals inner wounds. Maybe the burdens we hefted would have been lighter if we’d only summoned melody, and harmony, and counterpoint, and the timbres and colors of all kinds of vocal expression, into our lives when we needed them most.

Fear
Ditch Your Inner Bot

Deborah Vlock Ph.D. on October 26, 2014

The Mombot has escorted me through seven of the nine circles of hell and pulled me back out in more or less one piece. She has made me temporarily numb to pain and fear and galvanized me with endless energy, so I can get the job at hand done and collapse later, when it’s more convenient.

The Mombot has escorted me through seven of the nine circles of hell and pulled me back out in more or less one piece. She has made me temporarily numb to pain and fear and galvanized me with endless energy, so I can get the job at hand done and collapse later, when it’s more convenient.

Suicide
Suicide Is Not a Moral Issue!

Deborah Vlock Ph.D. on October 7, 2014

Why do we dredge up the old, tired, moralistic language to describe death by suicide, but not death by somatic illness? Depression is no more a choice than cancer. It is just less quantifiable. Depression, perhaps more than most bodily diseases, is permeable. Shape-shifting. A moving target. It eludes us when we try to understand and contain it.

Why do we dredge up the old, tired, moralistic language to describe death by suicide, but not death by somatic illness? Depression is no more a choice than cancer. It is just less quantifiable. Depression, perhaps more than most bodily diseases, is permeable. Shape-shifting. A moving target. It eludes us when we try to understand and contain it.

Anxiety
Is School Making Your Kid Sick(er)?

Deborah Vlock Ph.D. on October 1, 2014

Your local school district might be a prize-winning one, but if it is crushing your kid’s spirit, who cares about prizes?

Your local school district might be a prize-winning one, but if it is crushing your kid’s spirit, who cares about prizes?

Autism
Words are not Things

Deborah Vlock Ph.D. on September 29, 2014

I have struggled with using the phrase “mental illness” in my writing for as long as I've been publishing about disorders of the psyche. It is not a good term. It conveys only the most general kind of meaning. And it does not do justice to the fact that mental health disorders come in practically limitless shapes, depths, and colors.

I have struggled with using the phrase “mental illness” in my writing for as long as I've been publishing about disorders of the psyche. It is not a good term. It conveys only the most general kind of meaning. And it does not do justice to the fact that mental health disorders come in practically limitless shapes, depths, and colors.

Mass Shootings
We Are All Adam Lanza's Parents

Deborah Vlock Ph.D. on September 23, 2014

The conditions under which people who are severely mentally ill live; their lack of access to appropriate, affordable mental health care; the social stigma that makes asking for help difficult; the sheer financial cost of addressing this problem, at a personal, local, and national level--these are issues that affect every single one of us.

The conditions under which people who are severely mentally ill live; their lack of access to appropriate, affordable mental health care; the social stigma that makes asking for help difficult; the sheer financial cost of addressing this problem, at a personal, local, and national level--these are issues that affect every single one of us.

Adolescence
OMG, What a Slacker Mom!

Deborah Vlock Ph.D. on September 17, 2014

Most children who act out in highly atypical ways probably can’t help it. Nor can their caregivers necessarily prevent it--even if said children have been receiving therapeutic treatment for years.

Most children who act out in highly atypical ways probably can’t help it. Nor can their caregivers necessarily prevent it--even if said children have been receiving therapeutic treatment for years.

Stress
Help--Stress is Eating My Brain!

Deborah Vlock Ph.D. on September 14, 2014

Let’s face it: stress sucks. It’s one of the warts on the underbelly of life. Relationships, the places we work, our finances (or lack thereof), and so on--they all breed angst. If you don't fight it, prolonged stress can take over your life--and make you sick.

Let’s face it: stress sucks. It’s one of the warts on the underbelly of life. Relationships, the places we work, our finances (or lack thereof), and so on--they all breed angst. If you don't fight it, prolonged stress can take over your life--and make you sick.

Health
How Animals Help Regulate Mental Health

Deborah Vlock Ph.D. on September 10, 2014

I speak from experience--my own and my child’s--when I say that sometimes the Fluff Therapist beats the psychotherapist and the psychopharmacologist, hands down. You should retain both of these, of course--but what’s great about Ginger or Max is that their caseload is guaranteed to be really, really low. And it goes without saying they take your insurance.

I speak from experience--my own and my child’s--when I say that sometimes the Fluff Therapist beats the psychotherapist and the psychopharmacologist, hands down. You should retain both of these, of course--but what’s great about Ginger or Max is that their caseload is guaranteed to be really, really low. And it goes without saying they take your insurance.

Happiness
What Mental Illness Costs, Part III

Deborah Vlock Ph.D. on September 5, 2014

There are no promises in the world of mental illness, not even probabilities--only possibilities. No doctor or therapist or clinician of any kind can really give you a prognosis, or tell you how a medication or modality will work on your kid. Not if they're being honest with you. So the child you love is probably also a source of unalloyed, ongoing stress.

There are no promises in the world of mental illness, not even probabilities--only possibilities. No doctor or therapist or clinician of any kind can really give you a prognosis, or tell you how a medication or modality will work on your kid. Not if they're being honest with you. So the child you love is probably also a source of unalloyed, ongoing stress.