A French Toast Dream

In an anxiety dream about French toast, Tina evoked a waking-life issue that was bothering her and pointed herself toward a solution. On a deeper level, the process of dream analysis helped her see the origin of her anxieties and reach for a new perspective on her present-day responses.

The Dream

“In my dream, my two young grandchildren were visiting, and I was trying to make breakfast for them. I was looking for French toast in the freezer that I had already made, but it wasn’t there. I realized the French toast was in my other freezer at our mountain cabin. So, I pulled out a frying pan and ingredients to make a new batch, but I couldn’t find the pan I wanted to use. Now it was getting late, but, incredibly, the kids were still waiting patiently at the table."

The Discussion

I posed my first question. "How did you feel in the dream when you couldn’t find the French toast?"

Tina responded, "I felt anxious because I was scrambling around and couldn’t get a simple meal together. Breakfast is typically my specialty!"

I continued, "Was there an escalation of anxiety as the dream progressed from not having the French toast to not finding the pan?"

Tina offered, "Same feelings, maybe worse because I knew it would take more time to make a new batch of French toast rather than heat up what I already had."

I wondered, "Did it help to see the kids waiting patiently?"

Tina confirmed, "Yes, very much. They are usually very impatient!"

“Your dream brings anxiety forward," I explained, "so try looking for something in your waking life that brought that same feeling up in you, maybe without your even acknowledging it. You might also have experienced something you could’t find, or something that usually comes easily for you but recently felt more difficult.”

Tina's response was immediate. "I know exactly! One of my students visits the mountains each summer with her family, in the same town as my summer cabin. We had talked about making plans to meet while they were here, which happens to be this weekend. I texted the parents yesterday and invited everyone to the cabin for lunch either today or tomorrow. I haven’t heard back from them, and I wonder if I should try to reach them again.”

I asked, "Do you feel some anxiety about reaching out again after you already did with no response?”

"Yes, for sure," Tina admitted. "The parents and I have a good relationship. They've often told me how happy they are that I am their daughter’s teacher, but I still feel anxious about reaching out again."

I noted, "You describe how your usually impatient grandchildren waited very patiently in the dream, similar to you in this situation. Perhaps too patiently? In your dream, once you realized you were in the wrong place, you took action and pulled out a frying pan to make a new batch of French toast. If this was my dream, I would reach out again."

Tina confirmed, “Yes, I have decided to send an email to the mom. I’ve been waiting patiently but it does feel like I might not get a reply from my text.”

I closed by asking, "How does this analysis feel for you?"

Tina responded, "It feels good. In the dream, breakfast wasn’t happening because the French toast was missing. In real life, the get-together wasn’t planned because the text was apparently missing. But deep down I know I wonder if I’m being ignored or rejected."

I observed, “That's where the anxiety creeps in, because then it becomes personal."

Making another connection, Tina shared, “I'm currently reading a book that has me thinking about my childhood. It’s called One Trusted Adult by Brooklyn Raney. She does an excellent job talking about how everyone needs at least one trusted adult in their lives growing up. My brother Don and I talked about it yesterday. He said that I was his trusted adult growing up. So, I’m wondering who it was for me.”

“Your parents weren’t trusted adults for you?” I asked.

Tina confided, “My siblings and I all felt that we were not our parents’ top priority growing up. We wondered, if we ran away would they even notice? The main message in One Trusted Adult is just to be there for the child. I definitely don’t feel like I had adults who wanted to ‘just be there’ for me growing up.”

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I reflected, “So, you not only connected your dream to your teaching situation but also to a deeper situation from your conversation with Don. What an excellent layered dream. Now that you know the anxiety about rejection is connected to your past, the anxiety with your student’s parents can diminish. It’s the old hurt that creates anxiety and rejection. That’s where the hurt belongs.”

What We Can Learn

By analyzing her dream, Tina discovered the missing “ingredient” in her response to a current problem. She needed to take further action to move towards a solution, just like she needed to find a pan and start cooking in the dream.

However, a deeper dive into her own associations allowed Tina to identify the source of her hesitation as an emotional response that she carries with her from childhood. Through this deeper analysis, she can start the work of untangling her present-day responses from her early anxieties.

Ultimately, Tina’s dream allows her not only to feed others but to nourish herself through self-knowledge and psychological growth.