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Aida dreamed of a four-hour wait and a $400 gift. In the process of analyzing her dream, she not only uncovered a difficult family dynamic but discovered its origin in her early childhood. The repetition of the number four offered her valuable information to help her effect change in her waking life.
The Dream
“I was in a delicatessen waiting to be served with several other people,” Aida told me. “The expected wait time was around four hours. I remember one woman who wanted to buy loaves of different breads and one young man who was choosing chocolates.
“Simultaneously, I was also sitting outside on a picnic rug, and a different man gave me $400 and then kept returning to borrow some of the money back or borrow my credit card. He was very sneaky about it and never asked outright, and always returned with either less money or something wrong. The last image was of the credit card he brought back, it was cracked and had the wrong name on it.”
The Discussion
I asked, "How did you feel about the four-hour wait? I'm wondering, too, how your feelings changed when you then got $400.”
Aida responded, "The four-hour wait seemed normal. Everyone was quite relaxed. We chatted as the time went by.
"The part of the dream where a man gave me $400 had more feeling to it than the waiting part did but was still flatter than you’d expect. I didn’t feel like it solved anything."
I observed, "This man who gives you $400 keeps returning and taking some back. Can you think of a recent situation in which someone gave you something, and now you feel that whatever they gave you, they are slowly taking back?"
Aida considered my question. "Well, my parents have given me time and money and still help with my daughter's school fees. It's not something I feel particularly good about and I feel an obligation to do things for them in return for their support.
“I don’t mind in these current circumstances, but I do mind in the broader picture of my life, if that makes sense."
Repeating Aida's words back to her, I proposed, "You say, you don’t mind in the current circumstances, but you do mind in the broader picture of your life. Could this reflect how you first accept the long wait in your dream but then feel that the man who gave you the $400 and keeps taking back ‘didn’t solve anything’?”
Aida chimed in, "This fits! It’s as though my life and what I would choose for myself is on hold. My life is waiting for me to be free and rich and not concerned about carefully metering my money and my time. Then I could just get on with doing my own work and paying for my daughter's education."
I ventured, "You say the different scenarios in the dream were happening simultaneously. Also, the number four appears in both parts of the dream. Four hours and 400 dollars. Does the number four have any connection for you with your parents, your daughter, or your work?"
Aida offered, "I love the number 4—44, 400. It feels solid. Four even looks like an A, so it kind of represents me. It’s the age when I first felt like myself. It's also when my parents separated, and I realised that they weren’t thinking about each other or me and my sibling.
“I had a lot to say to them at that time, but I kept it to myself. I feel like they have never seen or respected who I really am. They created a box to put me in, part of which is the obligation to family that I, as the girl and the eldest, am supposed to fulfill.”
I commented, "If we look back at the dream, there’s something missing in both parts: your voice in protest! Not only you, but no one in the delicatessen protests the four-hour wait. Similarly, you don’t protest the man who keeps returning to take back.
“A solution that isn’t in your dream may guide you towards solutions for your waking problem. This dream, in particular, may point in that direction because you said the dream-actions ‘didn’t solve anything.’
“Since your voice is silent in both stories, I would like to ask: Is there something you want to say to your parents, given your sense of obligation to do things for them in return for the support they give you?”
Aida admitted, "There’s so much to say that there’s almost nothing to be said! This has a very similar feel to the buzzing frenzy people created in the shop when deciding on what they wanted. That part of the dream had lots of voices, although they weren’t protesting the wait. They were chattering about their choices."
I responded, “Maybe it’s time for you to have some conversation with yourself about your choices and allow yourself to speak when family obligations don’t fit your need to be seen and respected for who you are.”
What We Can Learn
In Aida's dream, the number four brought her to the origin of her feelings in a difficult life situation. As she discovered, perception unavoidably shifts when you learn the origin of your feelings. You can never go back to not knowing.
In our dreams, the numbers that appear may be deeply meaningful to us. Like other symbols tailored to our own lives and associations, numbers in our dreams can point us to the crux of our feelings and relationships, opening up space for self-knowledge and change.
