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Key points
- Menopause heralds the end of one phase of a female's life and the beginning of another.
- Menopause needs a rebrand as a very natural process for women.
- While menopause usually begins around age 50, symptoms often begin long before that, with hormonal fluctuations in the 40s.
Some of us get through it with little fanfare. Others go through a slow purgatory of hot flashes, dwindling libido, dryness, and hair loss, wondering when they will come out on the other side.
It’s difficult to know when the transition into menopause will begin happening. Its timing may be hereditary, or it might be hastened by female surgeries. Most of us, however, realize that something has changed. In the end, menopause heralds the end of one phase of our female lives and the beginning of another, just as it did when our mothers explained that our first period meant childhood had ended and womanhood had arrived.
Former actress and investigative health advocate Gwyneth Paltrow recently opened up about her experiences regarding the change. She admits the phenomenon, which has been going on for a “few years,” is “taxing." She now believes that menopause needs a rebrand, saying it is a “very natural part of our process as women."
The first thing many of us question is whether menopause is all in our heads—something (especially male) doctors have pushed for many years, dismissing it as if we were whining about nothing. The menopause transition is often defined as 12 consecutive months without a period. The timing of it is usually at around age 50. Once diagnosed, the post-menopause years begin. But symptoms often begin long before that, with hormonal fluctuations in the 40s, causing irregular periods and potentially a wide variety of symptoms, including hot flashes, insomnia, mood swings, trouble concentrating, and changes in sexual arousal.
These “peri-menopause” years can last from several months to a decade, but they are not necessarily only about the symptoms just described. Medical researchers are now finding that during that transition, their female subjects experience a loss of both gray matter (the brain cells that process information) and white matter (the fibers that connect those cells). Once menopause has begun in earnest, however, the losses stopped, and in some cases, brain volume increased. They agree that the female brain recoups, adapting to a new normal.
So are there ways to skate through this with as little upheaval as possible? Evidence suggests this is possible. The first thing we can do is celebrate it instead of looking at it negatively, as we have historically been taught. Once your doc announces the “change” is permanent, it’s a time to celebrate liberation from monthly periods (including the shrinking of uterine fibroids that cause heavy flow), its accompanying PMS, menstrual migraines, and the use of birth control. Love wearing white? Having that permanent option alone is a reason to jump for joy.
"Menopausal zest"
Many describe menopause as a new lease on life. American anthropologist Margaret Mead called it "menopausal zest"—the rush of energy, both physical and psychological. This makes it a natural time for women to take stock of their lives. Lots of women tend to pivot at this point, starting new businesses or changing careers. Having adult children means you are free to pursue your professional and personal ambitions. Long-term relationships often experience a reassessment as well (either for the better or for the worse). But it is at this point women tend to feel more courageous about making needed changes.
Treatments for decreased libido
As for a decreased libido due to hormonal changes, your doctor can help determine the underlying cause of those changes. He or she can suggest treatments that include home remedies, over-the-counter medications, or prescription medications, depending on why your sex drive has decreased.
If there is no physical cause for your decreased libido, marital counseling may be able to help if you and your partner need some guidance. While talking about sex with your doctor might make you uncomfortable, remember that it’s their job to take care of all aspects of your health and well-being without judgment.
Best advice? Bring notes. Be specific about what your concerns are. It will help your doctor if you can describe your symptoms, including what makes them better or worse, and how you feel when they occur. Most importantly, write down your questions. Sometimes your specialist's advice might include a regimen of hormone therapy (HRT), including testosterone to increase libido. Be sure to ask about the potential side effects and risks of any therapies he or she suggests.
The power of exercise and diet
It may not be something you want to start in your 50s if it's not already a habit, but it’s also time to exercise in earnest—not just to look good and help combat menopausal weight gain, but also to improve your mood. Exercise releases endorphins, which can reduce stress and trigger positive emotions.
Eating fruit or a Mediterranean-style diet can decrease the incidence of hot flashes and night sweats. Steer clear of a high-fat or high-sugar diet, and make sure your diet is low in fat and high in whole grains, fruits, and veggies.
