Fans and Celebrities: Where Should the Boundary Be?

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If you watched the MTV's Video Music Awards this week, you may have seen the memorable performance by pop star Chappell Roan, complete with an castle on fire and Roan wearing a suit of armor and armed with a sword. That performance might have left you with her hit "Good Luck, Babe" stuck in your head too).

You might also have seen the viral moment when the singer responded to a photographer yelling for someone to shut up with a “No, you shut up” as she walked the red carpet. (Expletives deleted from both.) It's not something you see often at an awards show, but as Chappell explained afterwards, red carpets are not exactly a walk in the park. In fact, she said she finds them horrifying. Fans might daydream about strolling with the flash of paparazzi cameras in their faces, but the reality can be much more stressful.

Roan's viral moment was a vivid illustration of the intersection of celebrity, fandom and the powers that be who have a vested interest in that interaction – an intersection that’s not always smooth. Rolling Stone ran a story about Roan last week, chronicling her meteoric rise to fame along with her struggle to accept that success. She cited the stress of people she doesn’t even know having expectations for her and feeling pressure to live up to the person her fans want her to be.

The Price of Fame?

Navigating fame is complicated for anyone. Chappell has been open about doing so with the help of a therapist after a diagnosis of Bipolar II disorder. The singer said there have been psychological effects; she describes it as feeling less connected to who she used to be. She’s also had to decide how to interact with fans.

Roan describes several upsetting incidents of fans shattering boundaries, berating her for not signing an autograph or taking photos, showing up at her hotel room and her parents’ house, and once even physically grabbing and kissing her. The singer took to TikTok to let fans know that all of this was not okay, and to reassert her boundaries in the face of unrealistic fan expectations.

Her social media posts were applauded by some but there was also backlash. So, what does a celebrity “owe” their fans? Roan candidly told Rolling Stone that she knew that other celebrities shared her concerns, saying, "Everyone is uncomfortable with fans.” A CNN article on Roan's viral experience was headlined, "What fans expect from celebrities is changing.”

Fan Expectations in the Age of Social Media

If that is true, why? The parasocial relationship between celebrities and fans has changed with the advent of social media. Roan, like many celebrities, shares a great deal about her life on social media platforms, which has contributed to her popularity. But that perceived access can make fans feel like they’re closer to her than they really are. The essential characteristic of a parasocial relationship is that it is not reciprocal: A fan might feel like they know a celebrity very well, but the celebrity usually does not know the fan at all. That one-sidedness used to be quite clear, but social-media interaction has made it seem like perhaps the relationship isn’t so one-sided after all. This, of course, is an illusion: The celebrity is sharing a curated version of themselves, even if it may feel intimate to fans. And while celebrities might interact warmly with fans at concerts or appearances or respond to some fans' comments online, for the most part the celebrity still does not know any individual fans.

This is not what soem fans want to believe, though, as parasocial relationships are at their core attachment relationships. People are drawn to those familiar faces that they see so often, and they feel attached to them, wanting the sense of felt security and safety that real closeness brings. They want to be recognized and acknowledged and validated by the star in some way.

Thus, when performer Doja Cat admitted that she didn’t actually love her fans because “I don’t even know y’all," she lost followers who were disappointed with that stark reminder of just how one-sided parasocial relationships really are. Similarly, Roan’s reminder to fans that they don’t know her, since they are random strangers even to each other, felt harsh to some.

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Celebrities like Star Trek star William Shatner have been negotiating parasocial relationships for decades. Shatner, 93, recently responded to a fan posting on X that it would take less time to just sign an autograph than to turn it down, saying “no, because you give one autograph and a line of 50 others magically appear. There is a time and place for everything and my private time isn’t that time.”

The Risks and Benefits of Fame

Are parasocial relationships problematic for both sides? Not necessarily. There are certainly benefits for celebrities in their fans’ loyalty and support, both artistic and economic.

However, research shows that celebrity does bring challenges, both psychological and practical. The experience of becoming famous often brings a love/hate reaction, with ambivalence and some guilt about being adored by strangers, followed by an awareness of the addictive nature of wanting desperately to stay on that pedestal. The unexpected attention can be overwhelming, especially at first, and can leave an individual feeling like a thing or a commodity instead of a person—the phenomenon known as entitization. Knowing that so many strangers want a piece of them—in the form of photos, autographs, or social-media replies—can alter their sense of self, and be experienced as loneliness.

People who have been famous longer than Roan may report an eventual acceptance of the changes and adaptation to the scrutiny, which often means setting higher boundaries and sometimes accepting increased isolation. That loss of privacy can be painful, though, as Roan is finding out. For a celebrity trying to remain authentic, the pressure of being “on” and creating or maintaining a persona that won’t disappoint their adoring fans can be exhausting.

Keeping Parasocial Relationships Healthy

There can be benefits to a parasocial relationship for fans; a connection to a celebrity can sometimes be a source of inspiration and well-being. The vast majority of fans, of course, do understand and respect the nature of a parasocial relationship, and are content simply in finding joy in being a fan without feeling a sense of ownership over what a star says or does or imposing any unrealistic expectations on them. The boundary-breaking behavior that Roan cited represent the exception, not the rule, fortunately.

However, in an era of constant social media, it’s may be easy for more fans to lose sight of the one-sided nature of their connection to celebrities. The significant wealth and privilege that come with fame are more readily apparent to observers than the challenges, which can lead to heightened expectations and judgment. For most celebrities, that tradeoff is deemed worth it, but both fans and the famous can keep their eyes open to the risks and benefits of parasocial relationships. Recognizing these unique relationships for what they are, both the positives and the negatives, can go a long way toward making the experience more positive for both sides.