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Guest blogger: Quentin ("Q") Farris, undergraduate student at University of Colorado Boulder
While true allies are near and dear to the LGBT+ community, a frustrating type of ally has been causing harm to the very movement they claim to support, a “faux” ally who uses the label as a social boost. True allies actively support the community. They don’t advertise it for social capital, they don’t do it because they want attention. True allies do what they do because they are good humans. Faux allies take advantage of the label.
These “allies” are trying to claim that being an ally is an identity of the LGBT+ community when in reality it is a term for when an individual makes use of their privilege to advocate for the community. These faux allies advocate based on praise; while they do support the community, it's not often based on the pursuit of equality. They might make a social media post about how “homophobia is wrong,” or talk about how they can “tell when someone is gay.” This can be considered a social “performance” to be involved with an ever-evolving culture, while not fully committing to the responsibilities the label holds. One of the most toxic things they do, however, is to claim that they are members of the LGBT+ community.
The fact of the matter is, allies are not members of the community.
The “A” in LGBTQIA+ stands for identities such as asexual (someone who has a lack of sexual attraction), aromantic (someone who has a lack of romantic attraction), agender (someone who identifies with a lack of gender, commonly using they/them pronouns) and more.
This perceived membership has caused a borderline toxic behavior system for these faux-allies. It is the equivalent of someone who is not black saying they are black because they support the Black Lives Matter movement. I believe that the word “ally” has become social capital, something that grants an instant rise in status with no perceivable consequence.
One of the most pressing issues with the use of “ally” as social capital is that it tends to decrease the amount of representation for “A” identities, something they already struggle with. The minimal amount of representation leads to others perceiving these identities as invalid or nonexistent. This can cause problems with young queer people trying to find their identities, and being unaware of what they could be. It also leads to infighting within the community, because some see these identities as members while others do not.
Another issue arising is that these faux-allies do not practice what they preach. They say they support the community without doing much to aid the fight for it. Active allyship is something that helps the community, and this can take many forms. It can be doing your own research, helping normalize pronoun use, telling someone that the way they refer to an LGBT+ person is not okay, and so much more. Allyship does not have to be grand, but it needs to be productive and positive, working to change how the community is treated instead of just letting the mistreatment continue.
The practice of active allyship has become rare. Faux allies claim they are contributing when their actions suggest otherwise. The label “ally” has become a consolation prize to them—overshadowing true allies, shirking accountability, and hindering the movement of LGBT+ acceptance. Active allyship is easy to get into the practice of and it truly helps the fight for acceptance and equality.
If someone wants to help fight inequality and marginalization of the LGBT+ community, a great first step is doing research. The more someone knows about the issue, the better they can help defend the community. Another great strategy is to gently correct others about the issue, such as helping correct stereotypes and stop using LGBT+ words as insults. Any action taken to help is a positive step towards helping the community, but the best way to help is to be involved with LGBT+ groups and to learn about the issues.
