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Key points
- When dreams change, it isn't a sign of failure or giving up.
- Letting go of a dream that no longer fits one's life can take time and requires grieving.
- Reconnecting with one's present self can lead to new dreams.
John Lennon famously said, “Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.” Over the years, I’ve finally started to understand this. As an ambitious, achievement-driven individual, I’ve always set goals. They’ve been specific, measurable, achievable, and anything else that a goal is meant to be. These goals have been stepping stones toward my bigger dreams. Dreams that I’d often had for a long time. Dreams that excited me. Dreams that I could see coming true. Yet, I’d never considered, that on the way toward them, my dreams would change.
Growing up, I was always told to chase my dreams. I was encouraged to work hard, to keep believing, and to never give up. To keep going no matter what.
But… what if things aren’t what you thought they would be? What if the path toward your dreams led you to a life that you didn’t love? What if what you thought you wanted started to feel like a burden? What if the dream you’ve always dreamed is no longer right for you? What if you outgrew your dreams? We didn’t exactly get a guidebook on how to deal with any of this.
The reality is that one of the most constant, inevitable parts of life is change. Constant change. That means you change and as a result, so do your dreams. That is ok. That is not a sign of failure, giving up, or letting anyone down. It’s simply a part of you changing.
Yet, this doesn’t mean it’s easy. Letting go of something that you’d so passionately believed in and worked towards is hard. It can take time, especially if you’ve had the dream for a long time. All of a sudden, you lose your sense of direction and purpose. You no longer know what you’re aiming for and you feel lost. You have no idea what to do next.
You are not alone. This is all part of the process.
What to do when your dreams change
To navigate this change in your dreams, start with these steps:
- Acknowledge that it’s ok for your dreams to change. Just like it’s ok for you to change, it’s also ok for your dreams to change. Hence, don’t beat yourself up about the change or think you’ve failed. On the contrary, you’re succeeding in being true to who you are today and following that.
- Grieve the dream you’re letting go of. Just because you’ve outgrown your dream doesn’t mean that you’re not disappointed about letting it go. If your dream meant something to you, it’s natural it’s going to hurt. If it does, let it. Trying to deny the hurt will only make it grow. Give yourself time to grieve and to heal.
- Reconnect with who you are today. To find your new direction and sense of purpose, reconnect with who you are today. Let go of who you were and what your past ambitions were. Identify what is most important to you today. What kind of life do you want to lead? What makes you happy? What excites you and inspires you? How do you want to spend your time?
- Nurture growth. To get your momentum back, focus on your growth. Take the tiniest steps you can to progress and evolve in something that matters to you. Use this as motivation to keep going. Over time, as your excitement starts to come back, you will find your new dreams to work toward.
