How to Slow Yourself Down to Find Fulfillment

A key strategy to enhance both your leadership abilities and your overall life experience is to embrace the journey toward a fulfilling and well-lived life.

Several weeks ago, during my initial visit to the island of Kauai, I personally discovered the profound influence of embracing the mantra of "slowing yourself down." This principle is not only a prevalent belief among the islanders but also a tangible value and way of life, essentially becoming the island's signature trait.

This post aims to underscore the significant advantages of adopting a slower pace, demonstrating how it can boost your effectiveness as a leader and enrich your life in all aspects.

Island living provides a glimpse into a slower, more fulfilled life

Source: DallE/OpenAI

Toward the end of our stay on the island, we found ourselves in a rush to send an important document back to the mainland, requiring a visit to the local Federal Express store in Princeville. Despite our hurry, the locals in line embodied the Kauai culture of calmness, displaying a different set of rules and creating a welcoming atmosphere. People smiled at us, they offered to let us go ahead, and some even sat down outside of the established line to the clerk.

They were gracious and kind but even more interesting to me was that they seemed to have a different mentality that they were operating in life. Their demeanor seemed reflective of a distinct mindset focused on enjoying the moment, caring for others, reducing stress, and, likely, lowering heart rates.

Our society has conditioned, or rather "entrained," us to move quickly. Entrainment, a psychological phenomenon, influences us subconsciously, aligning our pace with that of our surroundings. When everything around us—the people, the traffic, and the decision-makers—moves quickly, we become associated with that speed, like a metronome. The clock around us ticks faster and faster, and we do the same. As a result, our days pass by in a blur, often without taking moments to reflect on our actions or their underlying purposes. This constant rush can lead to poor judgment, unintended statements, and stress, negatively affecting our health and relationships.

Research by L. Mourot, as reported in the Journal of Aviation, Space, and Environmental Medicine, indicates that concerns about worst-case scenarios are largely a product of our imagination. Strategies like journaling or discussing issues with a neutral party can help free our minds from this "doom loop."

Expanding our view to encompass our entire lives, it becomes evident that we prioritize efficiency and accomplishments over being present and fully engaged. David Brooks, in his New York Times bestseller, contrasts a "resume-driven" life with a "eulogy-driven" life, suggesting that the quality of our relationships ultimately defines our success, not our achievements.

Furthermore, the concept of "co-regulation" plays a critical role in leadership, whether at work or within the family. Our emotional and mental pace can affect those around us, with stress or fear becoming contagious over time. As a leader, your modeling of the fear or stress will be contagious and, over time, has the power to create a culture of stress or overreaction. Research by Ulrich and Parsons indicates that finding a quiet space to slow down and reflect can help reprogram our response to overwhelm.

In conclusion, slowing down may seem counterintuitive, but it can lead to better results, build trust, and, ultimately, allow for faster progress in the long run. The laid-back culture I saw on Kauai, seemingly detached from the mainland's hustle, may very well hold the key to true success in life and the potential to transform organizational cultures into healthier, more satisfying environments.