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FOMO (the fear of missing out) is a real, real thing.
Some of us are experiencing FOMO during this time of global pandemic—when nothing exciting is even “available” to miss out on. FOMO in a pandemic creates an internal struggle that is incredibly confusing.
First off, it’s important to recognize that FOMO is a powerful engine, especially now. We can easily find ourselves looking at other people online and having FOMO about all they accomplish during a global pandemic: on limited resources, with a house full of kids, and while wearing a mask (or worse—while not wearing one).
So in response to their productivity, we rush outside to garden the heck out of our yard. We scramble to paint our bathrooms, create Etsy projects, start an art business (ah-hem), begin and re-begin “that” novel (also, ah-hem), cook up storms, and more. Or, we find ourselves making lists to do these things and then we do nothing, only to flog ourselves for it. Or, we pull the covers over our heads and sink into a deep, pandemic depression. (All of which are completely natural emotions during this time, mind you.)
I am here to remind you that the new pandemic FOMO is a double-edged sword. Where we used to wish we were vacationing or running a 5K with the people, now we are FOMO-ing about the people’s talents, traits, breaks, jobs, and productivity.
FOMO is a deeply-hidden trait that really runs our show when we are not aware of it.
We are so scared that we are missing out, that we pile on, sign up, volunteer, and do more than we are really capable of handling—nevermind actually doing well. Oftentimes these actions are so out of our expertise or even things we care about. Likewise, FOMO comes at the expense of time, energy, sleep, and real matters-to-you productivity.
First, let’s identify that healthy and unhealthy FOMO exists. We can get inspired from someone else and direct our FOMO towards a positive, good energy. Let’s keep that particular kind of FOMO, shall we?
However, the kind of FOMO that is making us crazy lines up nicely with self-sabotage and people-pleasing. There are also ties to fear of not making everyone happy (see: people-pleasing). Another version might be a failure to simply stay in your own lane, mind your own business, or just stop meddling in matters that aren’t yours to meddle in. If we can make a distinction about our personal brand of FOMO from the outset, we can save ourselves a lot of pain.
When you feel the FOMO coming on, what can you do? A few tips:
Ask yourself, "What is driving my FOMO?"
Are you passionate about knitting scarves for kitty cats like Kathy does? Or are you jealous that Kathy can knit at all? Or a step further: are you historically jealous of Kathy in general? Where is the emotion of FOMO really coming from?
Ask yourself, "Do I really care?"
Back to the kitty cat scarves. Do you really care about the thing you are trying to do, accomplish, etc.? Does this thing incite a passion?
Look at Your Plate.
Having a look at what is currently on your plate (to-do list, calendar, life goals) might snap you out of this weird FOMO for knitting kitty cat scarves (or whatever it is bugging you). Perhaps you have more than enough to keep you busy—and hopefully, some of those things are also on your passionate list. Re-center yourself on your goals and stay there.
Practice That Gratitude.
Sometimes I think gratitude is becoming much of a buzzword, or like the new “self-care.” However, gratitude is also a powerful tool for accepting what is and living our lives on our terms. If we can stay present and see what we have versus what we wish we had, sometimes that will shake the FOMO loose.
Note: Don’t become complacent. It's true that a global pandemic is not the time to beat yourself up for not accomplishing all your life’s goals. At the same time, don’t forget to dream your dreams, and stay focused on what you really want. Here's hoping that we can all play together again soon.
