5 Steps to Forming a True Partnership With Your Doctor

In my last post, you met Catherine, a young woman who went to the doctor and felt confused and frustrated because she wasn’t involved in her own healthcare. We discussed that you must ensure that you play a key part in decision-making by making sure that you are an equal partner in the coming to your diagnosis.

Here are the five key steps to take to forming the partnership:

#1. Find a physician who agrees with shared decision-making for diagnosis. Your doctor should listen to you, care about you, and feel comfortable—even seek out—involving you as a partner in the decision-making process. You will quickly see whether your doctor gives lip service to the partnership or really believes in it. Someone who really believes in it will work with you and welcome and actively solicit your suggestions. Someone who isn’t will quickly exhibit signs of impatience and defensiveness. If you are always respectful while asking questions, your doctor should welcome the input rather than feel challenged by it.

#2. Express your intentions to your doctor. Doctors aren’t mind readers, and are probably used to patients being passive participants in their healthcare. No matter if this is a new doctor, or one that you’ve had a relationship with for a while, state clearly at the beginning of your visit that you want to be involved as a partner in your own decision-making process. Ask to share in your doctor’s thought process about your diagnosis. Inquire about what it is he/thinks you have. Say that you want to be involved in figuring out what you have and what to do. If your doctor does not respond positively, perhaps it is time to look for another care provider.

#3. Help your doctor help you. Most diagnoses can be made by the story—the history of your illness—alone. Yet, one of the most frequent complaints patients have is that their doctors don’t listen to them. No doubt, there are limitations and pressures on the doctor’s time, but neglecting to listen to you will result in misdiagnoses. You can help make sure your doctor listens to you by telling a good story. Rehearse it in advance and make sure you tell a concise version. Begin at the beginning and proceed chronologically. Provide context, such as how it affected your life. Use your own voice instead of what you think is medical jargon. Write down key details so you don’t forget, and practice the delivery. Knowing how to convey your story effectively is a key part to helping your doctor help you get to the right diagnosis.

#4. Make sure you understand every test that is ordered. Every test should be done for a specific reason. Study after study shows that there is no role for the “screening” test: doing “basic labs” or a “screening CT” is like fingerprinting the entire city to search for a suspect, because it’s ineffective and likely to end up with confusing results. Not to mention that every test, even the basic blood draw, has potential harms (a CT has many more potential harms, including increasing your lifetime risk of cancer). If your doctor asks for lab work to be done, ask what blood work is requested and why. If your doctor asks for a CT scan, x-ray, MRI, etc, ask what it is looking for. How is the test going to change your management? Is it necessary? What are the possible harms? What are the alternatives? These are the same questions you would ask if you were deciding whether to treat and how to treat your illness, and making the diagnosis should be no different.

#5. Make decisions together, always with the diagnosis in mind. A test or procedure should be done only if it helps make your diagnosis; otherwise, what’s the purpose? The treatment should be targeted to the diagnosis; otherwise, what is it being done for? Perhaps there are two or three possible diagnoses; what is going to be done to try to narrow this down? What’s the natural course of the illness; what should you expect and what can you do to start feeling better? You need to be proactive in thinking through and asking questions, and if you have a willing physician (as you should), you should have all of your questions answered. Keep asking if your diagnosis does not make sense to you.

A critical component of shared decision-making is to work with your doctor to figure out your diagnosis. Focusing on this first, key part of your care will have transformative effects on your health. Imagine, how different would it have been if Catherine were involved in the very beginning with her diagnosis. She would have been able to tell her story and ensure her doctors listened, which could have led to the diagnosis without any tests at all. She would have avoided an unnecessary CT scan and unnecessary blood work, along with the all the potential harms and confusion of the tests. She would have received her diagnosis and understood what it is and how to treat it. She would have gone home, reassured and feeling better.

You may be dissatisfied and frustrated by the way your medical care is today, but there is a way to make it better. You hold the key to transforming your health. I discuss more tips in my book, When Doctors Don't Listen: How to Avoid Misdiagnoses and Unnecessary Tests. Try it on your next doctor’s visit, and focus on shared decision-making towards making your diagnosis.