Memorial Day Reflection

When dealing with interpersonal conflicts, I tell a lot of patients to "strike when the iron is cold." Meaning, don’t address issues when your blood is running hot and emotions are intense. Taking my own advice, I wanted to wait until after Memorial Day to talk about Memorial Day.

Every year the Veteran community seems to divide itself into two camps — those who feel the day should be somber and those that feel that the very people who the day is dedicated to, died for the freedom to do whatever it is you want. Both sides are missing the forest for the trees.

Eighty-four percent of post-9/11 Veterans believe that the civilian public does not understand the problems faced by those in the military or by their families, a belief also shared by the majority (71%) of the general public (Pew Research Center, 2011). A more recent survey also found that roughly 40% of civilians believe that the majority of the 2.8 million post-9/11 Veterans suffer from a mental health condition (Military Times, 2016). In addition, approximately half of civilians say the wars have made little difference in their lives (Pew Research Center, 2011) while 40% of Veterans report "getting socialized to civilian culture" as a key transitional challenge (Zoli et al., 2015).

To the Veteran and military population: We should not be warring within our own community about how to properly venerate those who gave the last full measure of devotion. Volunteer to speak in your community and help bridge the divide.

To those with no military affiliation: Memorial Day is not a day meant to honor living Veterans and military members. It is a day dedicated to remembering and honoring those who died while wearing the uniform of the United States. If you encounter a Veteran, military member, or Gold Star family consider saying things like, “I hope your Memorial Day is peaceful” or “Wishing you a reflective Memorial Day,” rather than “Happy Memorial Day.” For many, Memorial Day is a day to BBQ — but it is also a day to collectively mourn the loss of those they hold dear.