3 Essential Anti-Rumination Practices

Anti-rumination practices can help us leverage "what is."

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Radical acceptance and mindfulness teachings have become as popular as podcasts and sushi.

It’s no wonder: The level of anxiety we’ve been marinating in has been enough to launch even the coolest of cucumbers into the inevitable pickle of our times—wanting to make the best of things, but struggling to do so.

Many of us find ourselves vacillating between the attempt to appreciate "what is" and the primitive tendency to "what if" ourselves unhealthily, forgetting every last line of the Serenity Prayer.

Why We Ruminate, and How to Stop

Rumination, the inclination to overthink things or have repetitive thoughts that are difficult to ignore, is a human tendency that escalates in the throes of hard times. Many ruminators struggle with fixations that involve high levels of self-criticism and regret, renting inordinate space in one’s mind, squeezing out room for pursuits that cultivate joy, gratitude, and growth.

If you tend to ruminate, you know (1) how disruptive it can be and (2) how annoying it is when someone tells you to simply stop thinking so negatively. It’s like being told to relax and not drool while strapped to the dental chair with a drill the size of your head in your mouth, blaring light in your eyes. Rumination is a powerful automation of the mind, yet it is not insurmountable.

Anti-rumination practices, those that help us redirect our thinking to reduce the harmful effects of unhelpful thoughts, can help us retrain our minds toward more humane and productive patterns. While it can feel like a tall order to overturn this powerful tendency of the mind, there are ways to equip ourselves with such practices that science shows helps us stay and do well, and to embrace "what is," rather than lamenting over what isn’t. Here’s how:

1. Get clarity on your locus of control.

This cannot be overstated. It is an enormous waste of time, energy, and resources to stay stuck ruminating over things beyond our locus of control (LOC). LOC refers to the extent we believe we have control over the events that influence our lives. (Think Serenity Prayer.)

Research has shown people who see their capacity to influence outcomes are more motivated to take initiative to change situations to the extent they can be. When we carefully evaluate and radically accept what can and cannot change and devote our energy accordingly, we are more apt to direct our attention toward pursuits that nourish and take a long-game approach to that which can’t immediately change.

2. Stop "shoulding" and "musting" yourself.

"Shoulding" and "musting" is a cognitive distortion that bears attention. It is the tendency to put excessive pressure on oneself and stew in regret and frustration when there’s a perception of not meeting expectations, without recognizing they were likely inhumane to begin with.

Rumination patterns often involve this distortion. It’s worth examining self-talk patterns to determine whether this is a trapping, and if so, to consider potential shifts you might strive toward. For example, rather than saying “I should be further along in my career path,” you might say, “I know many people who also don’t have linear paths; I can take my knowledge and apply it now.”

This practice can help resist the tendency to stew in regret and "what if’s," which can block the progress you’re hoping to make in the first place. Similarly, if you are striving toward positive behavior change and give yourself harsh ultimatums that you must change all at once in one fell swoop, you may miss the opportunity to develop incentives that make the process of growth more rewarding, enjoyable, and sustainable.

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3. Learn to toggle away from haunting thoughts.

For anyone dealing with rumination, you know it’s not as simple as stopping unwanted thoughts. Anti-rumination practices help us to create alternatives.

Research shows that even when under significant stress, it does a world of good to create moments of reprieve to cultivate positive emotions. Spending time with a friend, in nature, drawing, painting, writing jokes or comic essays, reading, writing, playing your favorite sport, singing, and dancing can help you avoid ruminating.

The key is to pick something worth toggling to. Keep it simple and fun. Researchers explain that creating a positive emotional repertoire can help us take a break from stressors, helping us resist automations of the mind to replay unhelpful thoughts and instead bolster our mood and well-being.

Anti-rumination practices can help us:

• Retrain our minds toward greater solace and engagement with thoughts and activities that edify, rather than sabotage.
• Become a "what is" person who has clarity about their locus of control, avoids the cognitive distortion "shoulding" and "musting," and toggles away from haunting thoughts.
• Learn, with time and intention, to reduce the amount of time embroiled in repetitive overthinking cycles.

While anti-rumination practices, as the name implies, require practice, they can eventually help crowd out unwanted patterns and help us become a "what is" person.