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Your child’s first counseling appointment, known as an intake appointment, usually lasts one to two hours, and typically consists of:
- Completing paperwork;
- Discussing your child’s current symptoms; and
- Planning next steps, such as the frequency and length of sessions.
You should plan to spend about two hours attending your child’s intake appointment, especially if you have questions about the paperwork, or if your child has a variety of problem behaviors.
In order to be fully prepared for your child’s first appointment, you should bring the following:
Your Child
This may seem obvious, but your child needs to attend their intake appointment with you. If your child will not be able to sit at a table for one to two hours, bring a favorite toy, coloring book, or other activity that your child can engage in quietly while you fill out paperwork and answer questions about your child. Your child’s counselor will have some questions that your child must answer themselves; be sure to give your child a chance to answer independently before stepping in to correct or elaborate on their answer.
Insurance and Custody Information
If you plan to pay for your sessions with your health insurance, you should bring your insurance card, or other proof of insurance, including your policy number. If your child is covered by Medicaid, you will need your child’s Social Security number; if you don’t have it memorized, bring a reminder for yourself.
If your child doesn’t have coverage for mental health services, many mental health agencies will allow you to pay a sliding scale fee each session that is based on your income. To take advantage of the sliding scale fee, you will need to bring proof of your income (such as a recent pay stub, social security check, or tax return). If you currently have no income (SSI, SSDI, SNAP, and any other public assistance typically count as income), you may need to bring a letter of support signed by the person who is financially supporting you. Call the organization through which your child is receiving counseling to ask if they offer a sliding scale fee, and which documents you will need to bring for your specific situation. You may also have the option of receiving counseling from a clinical intern for free.
Finally, if you are a foster or adoptive parent, you will likely need to bring custody paperwork to your child’s first appointment that describes your ability to make treatment decisions for your child. Custody documents vary by state; check with the organization through which your child will be receiving counseling for the specific documents you will need.
A List of Your Child’s Current Medications
If your child is currently taking prescription medication, bring a list of the names of the medications, the dosages, the prescribing physician(s), and how often your child takes them. This is important because some medications have side effects that can appear to be psychiatric symptoms. For example, poor appetite and difficulty sleeping could be symptoms of depression, but they are also side effects of stimulant medications frequently prescribed for ADHD. Knowing which medications your child is on will allow your child’s therapist to arrive at a more accurate diagnosis.
Current Symptoms and Important Moments
After completing a lengthy stack of paperwork, you may be surprised what you might forget to mention. Prior to your child’s first session, jot down some of the most important points you want to mention to your child’s counselor. These could be problematic or new behaviors you have noticed in your child or important moments in your child’s life that may have impacted their development. If there are important moments or symptoms that you don’t want to discuss in front of your child, let your child’s counselor know that you have a few more things you would like to discuss over the phone, and schedule a time to call before you leave the intake session.
Prior to the session, consider how you will word your child's symptoms when discussing them with your child's counselor. As one of the most important adults in your child's life, your words have an enormous emotional impact on your child. For example, there is a significant difference between saying "He's terrible at school!" and saying "I get a lot of calls about him fighting with other kids at school." Try not to label your child ("She's so stubborn!," "He's out of control!," etc.), focusing instead on observable actions ("She won't go to school," "He runs away at the grocery store," etc.).
Your Child's Strengths
You will also be asked to discuss your child's greatest strengths, so you should prepare at least two positive things to say about your child. Not only does it boost your child's self-esteem to hear you proudly discuss their best qualities, but knowing your child's strengths will also help your child's counselor develop a treatment plan that uses your child's strongest abilities to reduce problem behaviors.
Your Questions
Similarly, it can be helpful to jot down any questions you have about your child’s counseling prior to walking into their first session. However, if you find that there are questions or comments you have after the session, you should feel free to call your child’s counselor after the intake appointment or to bring them up at the next session.
Honesty
The more your child’s counselor knows about their history, the more relevant and effective your child’s treatment will be. Even if portions of your child’s history are embarrassing to you as a parent, or may appear to not affect your child currently, it is important to discuss them with your child’s counselor. While you don’t have to mention every difficulty your child has ever undergone, any experiences your child has had with drug or alcohol use, domestic violence, homelessness, death, criminal activity, or abuse of any kind should be discussed with your child’s counselor.
A Reward
No matter how your child’s first appointment goes, take a moment before and after the session to give yourself the credit you deserve for putting your child’s needs ahead of your own. Counseling can be time-consuming and emotionally taxing, and there are many parents who never get around to bringing their child to a much-needed intake session. Find a way to reward yourself (and your child, if he or she was well-behaved), even if it just means stopping at the park or grabbing a gas station treat on the way home. Planning a reward with your child ahead of time has the added benefit of giving your child an incentive to answer the counselor's questions and behave appropriately.
At the very least, give your child a high five and pat yourself on the back, knowing that one of your child’s most difficult sessions is behind you.
