I Enjoy Myself Best When I'm Enjoying Somebody Else

Source: Us Around 1976

Something nudged me. I don't know what or who it was, but all of a sudden and I found myself saying to my wife of 50 years: "you know, I really enjoy you."

And, in truth, the strangest thing about it was that I don't remember ever telling to her that I enjoy her. Sure, maybe an "I love you," or "I adore, cherish, appreciate, value you," (and yes, sometimes I annoy her with all the love stuff), but "enjoy"? Maybe it was just too implicit in everything else - but that's no excuse.

So, here's my public confession:

Rocky, wife of more than 50 years, best friend, I, your husband Bernard Louis De Koven, enjoy you.

But that wasn't the most startling realization that moment. It also occurred to me that I enjoy my kids, too, of course. And that, to a less personal degree, I could even make a similar apology to all the people I've enjoyed over these so many years - without thinking about how I'm enjoying them, or even letting on. And probably to you, too. I enjoy you. I enjoy thinking of you reading these words and saying to yourself "wow, Bernard Louis De Koven actually, has and potentially still does enjoy me!"

It's funny how true it's been all these years. I enjoy writing. I enjoy you even when I'm just thinking about you reading this.

And an even funnier realization, for me? how long it has taken me to use that word.

And how near hysterical is the realization that enjoying my time with you, my life with you has taught me that I enjoy myself best when I'm enjoying somebody else.

And you could say the same thing about love.

(Photo of DeKovens & friends 1976)