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Key points
- People of all ages tend to point to outside factors beyond the control of the individual when explaining their own shortcomings and failures.
- If someone focuses their attention and energy on factors outside their control, they will render themselves “powerless” by definition.
- The response power mantra is simply a series of questions designed to bring the mental focus back onto what they can control in any situation.
Here is the reality: In any situation, there are factors beyond our control. And in any situation, there are factors within our control: our own thoughts, words, and actions. Almost anyone can focus on those external or internal factors. In fact, there is a lot of evidence to suggest that most people—of all ages—tend to point to outside factors beyond the control of the individual when explaining their own shortcomings and failures, not to mention the successes of others. Funnily enough, most people also have a strong tendency to point to factors within the direct control of the individual when it comes to our own successes as well as the failures and shortcomings of others.
So, the good news is that most people know how to focus on factors within the control of the individual. It’s just that we take our focus off those factors when we make excuses, blame others, and complain.
No matter how high or how low your position is, if you focus your attention and energy on factors outside your control, you will render yourself “powerless” by definition. However, the flip side is also true: No matter how high or low your position is, if you focus your attention and energy on factors within your control, you will maximize your power. In any situation, no matter how little is within your control, the way to make yourself more powerful is to focus like a laser beam on whatever thoughts, words, and actions you can take—your choices and the effects you can cause. Sometimes it is a very small amount of power, but more power is better than less power.
The key is learning to ask yourself every step of the way, “What is within my control right now? Where will I focus my attention and energy? What are my options? What’s the plan? What are my next steps? What are my next thoughts, words, and actions?” That’s how you increase your response power in any situation.
The response power mantra
The response power mantra is simply a series of questions designed to bring the mental focus back onto what you can control in any given situation. Make a list of problems or obstacles that get in your way at work. Now take those items on your list, one by one, and practice applying the response power mantra: What’s outside my control? What’s inside my control (my own thoughts, words, actions)? What are my options? What are my next steps?
For any situation, simply arrange those questions in a horizontal axis at the top of a page to make vertical columns, and then fill in your answers side by side.
Outside Inside (my own thoughts, words, actions) Options? Next steps?
What about the factors outside my control?
Choose a factor outside your control that you can anticipate getting in your way in the near future.
Now apply the mantra to consider in advance and prepare:
What’s outside my control?
What’s inside my control (my own thoughts, words, actions)?
What are my options?
What are my next steps?
You may be surprised at what comes up when you stop and assess. If there is really nothing you can do, why are you still thinking about it? If there is something you wish you could do, what is getting in your way? Are those also forces outside your control? Sometimes, the only thing we have power over is our own emotional response to a situation. That may mean doing the best we can with what we have, seeking out help along the way, and regularly checking in with ourselves to ensure we’re getting the mental, emotional, and spiritual support we need.
