Leaning Into Slowing Down

I am someone who likes to complete tasks right away and who tends to work ahead if possible. Even if I don’t technically have tasks to complete on a Friday evening, for example, I often take time to prepare for the following week. I recently completed a large project, and although other projects are looming, I'm intentionally focusing on slowing down. However, it feels strange not to do “extra” work and not put in a long day every day.

As much as I genuinely value taking time to refuel my tank and simply allowing myself to be without doing anything, I have noticed a bit of unease and a sense of should creeping up when I slow down and that I have certain rules about slowing down. For example, I tell myself, “I should be doing something work-related right now,” or “It is okay to slow down if it is 7 pm or later, but if it is earlier, I need to keep working.”

As common as this may be, these thoughts and rules are arbitrary and unhelpful. Who says I have to wait until 7 pm to slow down? It is important to embrace the discomfort I may feel about slowing down and do it anyway. To give myself permission to take care of myself and not fall into the trap of proving my worth through productivity. I am just as worthy of a person if I am sitting on the couch at 2 pm on a Sunday watching TV as if I am doing a load of laundry or writing an article.

I’ve written about the topics of reframing rest and stretching distress tolerance in earlier posts, and here, I want to specifically focus on leaning into slowing down. Our society rewards productivity, and it is common to push ourselves constantly. The harmful effects of not slowing down can be insidious, and you may not notice them right away. Yet, over time, not slowing down can lead to big concerns such as mental and physical exhaustion, anxiety, and depression.

Humans are creatures of habit, and there can be a lot of comfort that comes with something being familiar. Yet, a behavior being familiar does not make it helpful. And the reverse is also true. Just because there is discomfort that arises with acting in an unfamiliar way, discomfort does not equal bad. It is often helpful and leads to growth.

How to Lean Into Slowing Down

Actively think about slowing down. Imagine what it would look like to slow down. What would you be doing differently if you were not focused on completing tasks and allowing yourself simply to be? Would you be sitting and drinking a cup of tea? Going for a walk? Listening to music? Having a picture in your mind helps to translate the picture into action.

If discomfort arises when thinking about or practicing slowing down, reframe discomfort as an opportunity. A chance to challenge unhelpful thoughts and engage in behaviors that support your well-being. A chance to challenge the notion that you must prove your worth.

It is easier to believe that you are inherently worthy as is and don’t have to prove your worth when your behavior supports this belief. So, allow yourself to rest. It is courageous to go against the internal and cultural messaging that you must constantly be accomplishing something.

Be aware of your shoulds. Are you telling yourself you should be doing something? Should be checking a task off your to-do list? Should be doing it all? "Shoulds" tend to be rigid, arbitrary, and unrealistic. They set the stage for self-criticism and a sense of failure.

Practice noticing your shoulds and hold them lightly. Just because you think you should be doing something doesn’t mean the thought is true or helpful.

I encourage you to lean into the discomfort of slowing down and practice it. Challenging yourself to do something differently in the service of your well-being and expanding your comfort zone is time well spent in my book.