How to Prep Your Tween for a Move

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Summer often offers the opportunity for families to slow down, kick back, and relax. Families relocating often plan moves over the summer so their children can start the school year in their new school. Regardless of the reason for relocation, even if your tween welcomes the move, it is bound to be stressful.

A little preparation can go a long way to help both you and your tween to get acclimated in your new home. What follows are some quick tips to ease the associated stress:

Do the research

Learn all there is to know about your new town. If your tween plays baseball or loves to dance, for example, scope out the opportunities available. What events does the town offer? Find out when and where so you and your family can participate.

Be a joiner

Does your town have a Facebook page or a neighborhood website you can join to ask questions and get information? Is there a local rec center or community pool you can join to encourage your tween to make connections?

Meet the neighbors

Don’t sit around waiting for the neighbors to come to you. With a little luck, you may find a family with kids the same ages as your kids.

Make a pre-meeting with the school

Research suggests there is a link between behavioral problems in school and moving. In order to give your tween the best opportunity to adjust well to her new school, reach out to school administration and request a tour of the school and a meeting. Ask them to identify a point person for your tween so that you both have someone at the school to check in with. The more familiar your tween is with her new school, the easier her adjustment. The better the school knows your tween, the smoother the transition will be for her.

Discuss your tween's concerns

Be sure to engage in constant conversation about the move with your tween. Ask your tween what he is most stressed or worried about. Also, find out what he is most excited about. You may be surprised by his answers. If your tween is devastated by the news of the move...

Validate your tween’s reactions

Whether your tween is ecstatic, devastated, or feeling somewhere in between about the move, it is important to let her know you hear her. Avoid downplaying any concerns she may have. A little bit of understanding can go a long way.

For your consideration:

Research identifies moving as one of the most stressful life events for anyone, regardless of the reason. Keep in mind that anxiety and stress can be contagious. The calmer you present, the calmer your tween will feel. Also remember, middle school can be difficult to negotiate for any kid, imagine what it’s like for the new kid. Seize any and all opportunities to help your tween ease into the acclimation process. Be understanding and patient. Although tweens tend to be pretty resilient, they are at an age where newfound awareness and insight can cause a lot of overthinking about the situation at hand. This is why moving during the tween years can be particularly difficult.

Younger children are more easily reassured by their parents and older children possess the maturity to make do with more ease. Tweens may have just enough insight to understand what a major life event a move can be, but feel, due to their age, they lack the power to control anything. This can feel very frustrating and overwhelming.

A little bit of foresight and reassurance can go a long way toward your tween making a smooth transition to their new hometown.