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Key points
- School avoidance is when a child does not fully attend school and has no reasonable or justifiable circumstances for the absence.
- Four general reasons kids refuse to attend school include avoidance, social situations, reinforcement, and attention from a caregiver.
- Create a back-to-school plan with your tween that is based on consistency, consequences, and reinforcement.
Maybe it started slowly. Occasionally your tween told you she couldn’t go to school. In the beginning, you let her miss a day here and there.
Then the missing school work began piling up due to her absences.
You finally realized she was missing more and more days of school. You committed yourself to make sure she went. Maybe you got her dressed and ready to go, but when it came time to catch the bus, she said she just couldn’t go. Maybe you agreed to drive her. She refused to get out of the car when you got to the school.
The Facts
Fear of going to school was first called "school phobia" in 1941 (Johnson et al.,1941). Today it is known as school refusal or school avoidance.
Defined as: when a child does not fully attend school and has no reasonable or justifiable circumstances for the absence. This absence can be child or parent-motivated, i.e., requiring the child to stay home to babysit younger siblings or care for an elderly grandparent. It is estimated that between 2 to 5 percent of all school-aged children have school avoidance.
The incidence is similar between boys and girls. Although school avoidance occurs at all ages, it is more common in children ages 5 to 6 and 10 to 11 years of age. It peaks at ages 5 to 6 and 14 to 15. However, the mean age falls around 10. The longer a child is out of school, the harder it is to return.
No socioeconomic differences have been noted regarding prevalence rates.
Chronic vs. Acute
Chronic school avoiders have long histories of non-attendance, sometimes spanning back to inconsistencies when they first started school.
Acute school avoidance is typically tied to a distinct and sudden period of school non-attendance. Quite frequently, it occurs after a period of justifiable non-attendance—for example, a prolonged illness.
During the height of the pandemic, when many schools went remote, many kids became isolated. They got used to doing online school. As a result, it was tough for some kids to come out of their cocoons and attend in-person school again.
Main Reasons for School Refusal
There are four general reasons why kids refuse to attend school they include:
- Avoidance. This includes kids suffering from separation anxiety, experiencing specific school phobias, and dealing with general anxiety.
- Social situations. In general, tweens avoid school because of some uncomfortable experiences they have had there, including bullying, kids suffering from social anxiety, kids who have had negative experiences with peers, teachers, or other school personnel.
- Reinforcement. These kids are somehow being reinforced to stay home. Gaming is a common reason kids refuse to go to school, tv/streaming, time with friends, social networking, home represents a stress-free environment, kids who got used to COVID cocooning.
- Attention from a caregiver. For example, a child with siblings gets more focused attention when home. Another child may be encouraged to stay home to help their caregiver. For example, an older sibling will be reinforced to stay home with younger pre-school siblings.
Mask or no Mask, will it make a difference?
Now that the CDC has changed its recommendations regarding mask requirements, school districts around the country are moving toward an optional mask policy if they haven’t already.
If your child refuses to go to school because of the mask requirement, you may believe your child’s school avoidance days are over. Unfortunately, going back to school after a long period of absence or inconsistency may make it difficult for your tween to start attending regularly. Do not be surprised if she raises a new concern about attending.
COVID Specific Concerns That Can Lead to School Avoidance
- Fear that others aren’t vaccinated and/or won’t wear masks.
- Parents hold back due to fears that others aren’t vaccinated and/or won’t wear masks.
- Social isolation due to lockdown leads to overwhelming social anxiety & inability to return to school.
- Parents still working from home results in a tween’s continued desire to stay at home with them.
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Academic success during virtual school results in overwhelming concerns about in-school performance.
Prevention Protocols
So what can you do to encourage your tween to return to school successfully? The first step, of course, is to alert your tween’s school that there is a problem. Ask them to partner with you to create a successful back-to-school plan.
Ask them to identify a “point person.” This person’s role is to hold the process by ensuring everyone involved is following through with their part. For example, if your tween fails to go to class, there should be a system in place to make sure the point person is aware and a plan to have someone find out if your tween is in school and, if so, where they are. The point person always works directly with your tween to hold them accountable for any plans put in place.
Plans should be progressive regardless of your tween’s performance. For example, if on day one, your tween is required to attend three hours of school, and on day two, your tween is required to attend four hours in school, even if they are unsuccessful on day one, still proceed to day two.
If your tween is ultimately unsuccessful throughout the plan, it will be time to regroup and discuss alternative plans, including alternative school placements if available.
Consistency, Consequences, and Reinforcement Are the Keys to Success
You must include your tween in the development for a plan to be successful. The plan must be consistent. In addition, your tween must be aware from the get-go what the consequences will be for them if they cannot follow through on the plan. Those consequences must be consistently enforced. Reinforcement and encouragement are also necessary.
Celebrate the little successes. If, for example, your tween was able to sit through a class they usually have to take a break from, congratulate them. Reinforcers, aka in-school rewards, should be crucial for their plan. For example, if your tween enjoys art, see if you can include extra time working with the art teacher as a reward for following her plan. These incentives must be in school. This will help make school a comfortable and desirable place for your tween.
In addition to in-school counseling that may be provided, it is essential to seek the help of an outside mental health provider who can help your tween work through their anxieties and work with them to develop the skills necessary to attend school successfully.
School avoidance can be frustrating for parents, kids, and school personnel. The fact is that most kids suffering from school avoidance want to go to school but genuinely feel that they can’t. Each success builds off the next. However, by working together as a team, you can help your tween go from avoidant to excited.
References
Johnson, A.M., Falstein, E.T., Szurek, S.A., & Svenden, M. (1941). School phobia. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 11, 702-711.
Kearney, C.A. (2001). School refusal behavior in youth: A functional approach to assessment and treatment. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.
Kearney, C.A., & Albano, A.M. (2000). When children refuse school: A cognitive –behavioral therapy approach – Therapists Guide. San Antonio, TX: The Psychological Corporation.
