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Key points
- Trying not to think about anxiety worsens it.
- Seeking constant reassurance fuels a never-ending battle with anxiety.
- Challenging anxious thoughts with logic may intensify anxiety.
Navigating the complex landscape of anxiety underscores the crucial role our thought processes play in managing this emotional experience. In this exploration, we'll examine standard advice that can exacerbate anxiety and explore practical alternatives to cope with it effectively.
Unhelpful Tips that Worsen Anxiety
"Don't Think About It"
Trying to avoid thinking about anxiety-provoking thoughts or situations may provide temporary relief, but after that relief is gone, the anxiety still exists on top of any consequences related to avoidance. People go to all lengths to "not think about it," which may include sleeping, restricting their food intake, bingeing and purging, or using drugs or alcohol. Again, the consequences of what you do to avoid distress create a whole new set of problems that typically worsen the original. Another result is that you don't see that an emotional experience has a shelf life and will dissipate. Lastly, you miss the opportunity to see yourself as competent, which happens when one gets to the other side of adversity.
Seek Reassurance
Seeking reassurance is a common response to anxiety, but it often perpetuates a cycle of worry. Consider the following scenario:
Reassurance: "You don't need to worry about your health. Your doctor said everything looked good."
Anxious thought: "But he is not a specialist and could have missed the signs that something is really wrong with me."
For every bit of reassurance you get, anxiety will counter with another worry.
Engaging in a constant tug of war with anxiety through seeking reassurance triggers a never-ending loop. Each reassurance begets a new worry, intensifying the proverbial battle in your head. My advice is to let go of the rope. When you stop engaging in the struggle, the anxious thoughts quiet or at least become less intrusive and powerful.
Challenge Anxious Thoughts
While challenging anxious thoughts with logic may seem intuitive, it often backfires. Anxiety, fueled by perceived threats that may not exist, can intensify with increased attention. Your mind may even double down on these thoughts. Your anxiety is trying to keep you safe from what is perceived as a threat. That threat, quite often, does not exist. Therefore, trying to appease it with logic is only sometimes effective. A more effective approach is to acknowledge the anxiety without fueling it, allowing it to lose its grip over time.
Healthy Ways to Cope With Anxiety
Practice Mindfulness
Engage in mindful awareness of anxious thoughts in a curious, non-judgmental way. Acknowledge the thoughts by saying, "I am noticing I am having thoughts that X." This allows you to see that you exist apart from those thoughts and gives space for others' thoughts (that are not anxiety-driven). Knowing that you are not your thoughts gives you a choice to respond to them if they are useful or hold them gently and let them come and go if they are not.
Recognize Repetitive Thought Patterns
Notice how your anxious thoughts are typically the same, with a few warnings or criticisms on repeat. You can even visualize this annoying, repetitive pest tapping you on the shoulder to remind you that things will not work out. Now, notice how silly and pointless this (your anxiety) has become. You can acknowledge it ("There are those little anxiety pests") and even thank them for the worst-case scenario, but you have already heard it about a million times. Acknowledging the anxious thought can be enough, at times, to let it go.
Align With Values
Using values to increase willingness to feel the discomfort that anxiety would have you avoid can be a helpful way of overcoming anxious thoughts and the avoidance that often accompanies them. For instance, you may not want to seek therapy, but your family is incredibly important to you, and you want to be present in your relationships. This shift in perspective empowers individuals to face anxiety head-on in pursuit of what truly matters.
Final Thoughts
Navigating anxiety demands a thoughtful approach, steering clear of unhelpful tropes and embracing healthier coping strategies. Individuals can cultivate resilience and take significant strides toward improved mental health by acknowledging and allowing thoughts, recognizing their repetitive nature, and aligning with personal values.
To find a therapist near you, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.
