Psychological Vertigo: How Our Perversities Prevent Our Success

Anyone whose goal is 'something higher' must expect someday to suffer vertigo. What is vertigo? Fear of falling? No, Vertigo is something other than fear of falling. It is the voice of the emptiness below us which tempts and lures us, it is the desire to fall, against which, terrified, we defend ourselves.” —Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being

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Sometimes when you stand on the high floor of a building and look down, it’s terrifying—not just because of the conscious fear of falling, but the unconscious desire and urge to jump. This has been called the “high place phenomenon” and is not simply an indication of suicidal ideation. It often occurs in people who are sensitive to their own anxiety¹. This can occur in as much as 60 percent of the general population without a clinical diagnosis². It is sometimes referred to as the “call of the void.”

Why do people experience this paradoxical wish?

Some authors have suggested that when people are on the edge at some great height, the brain signals to say, “Stand back.” And they do. But when the brain’s slower “interpreting” system kicks in, it misunderstands the safety signal as a death wish. In addition to being sensitive to anxiety, this misinterpretation may especially occur if someone has considered suicide at some point in their lives².

Despite these studies, Freud believed otherwise. He was more aligned with Kundera’s literary interpretation above. According to Freud, we all possess a “death drive” and must learn to notice this. However, this drive goes together with the will to live, which Freud called Eros. As Freud implied, this instinct is silent but not lonely.

What is the death instinct?

The death instinct or drive, also called Thanatos³, is sometimes associated with the human tendency for war, violence, conflict, inequality, and self-sabotage. These are undeniable facts of human existence, so we must at least examine them.

According to Freud, we all possess a wish to return to inactivity and death⁴. Often, it opposes the sexual drive, which, because of what it is, brings both pleasure and disgust⁵.

The death instinct in physiology

Our own physiology is no stranger to the merger of life and death instincts. When a sperm and ovum lose their cellular integrity, life is born. Autophagy (self-eating) is a necessary process whereby cells and cellular contents are destroyed within our bodies and also protects the body⁶. And when this process is inhibited, it results in autoimmune diseases whereby our own immune systems act against us⁷. The problem is, about 25 percent of people with autoimmune diseases develop additional autoimmune diseases, so it’s important to stop these diseases in their tracks⁸. Much like the death instinct, this is no easy matter.

Dealing with the death instinct

Very little of our current life experience is not tinged with the past or infected with the prediction of the future. Many noted researchers have proposed that all emotions are simply the brain predicting what may next occur⁹. It is well-known that there is considerable overlap between memory and prediction systems in the brain¹⁰. So, for all of us, the past, present, and future, are inextricably mixed at any given moment. As a result, we sometimes inherit our current limitations, and success comes to an abrupt halt, or we flat-line in life. Try as we might, no further movement is possible. In extreme cases, people regard their own unconscious wishes as a separate hostile being.

To manage this instinct, consider the following:

1. Rather than panicking about this juxtaposition of life and death instincts, understand that it is common for these to co-exist.
2. Understand that the old self must be destroyed for your continuous evolution to welcome the new. Use your cherished values as a guide to a higher self. Autonomy, wealth, community, and service are all values to consider¹¹.
3. If you are thwarted in life, ask yourself, “What breakdown am I avoiding, and what is my stagnation protecting me from?”
4. If your death instinct stops you, ask yourself, “What forms of nurturance could replace this?”
5. When life feels hostile and against you, ask yourself, “What inner wish might this represent?”

By more deeply contemplating who we are, and our paradoxes, our seeming perversities will come to light. As psychoanalyst Sabina Spielrein explained in her paper, “Destruction as the cause of coming into being”, every image attains its peak in life; with realization, it is immediately destroyed. Believe in your ability to generate images continuously; this destruction will become a force of transformation.