Relationships
Why Should You Care?
Caring deeply is the foundation of strong relationships and successful projects.
Posted July 2, 2023 Reviewed by Hara Estroff Marano
Key points
- If you care deeply about people and your project, you are likely to say and do the right thing.
- You can't fake caring deeply; people will see through you. But if you do care, they'll support your goals.
“People express to me that I make them feel better, I make them do things they might not otherwise do. And that's the most powerful thing you could ever feel, and that's a huge responsibility.”
Michael J. Fox in Still: A Michael J. Fox Movie
![Annetta Marion / Used with permission Annetta Marion / Used with permission](https://cdn2.psychologytoday.com/assets/styles/article_inline_half_caption/public/field_blog_entry_images/2023-06/director%20Annetta%20Marion.jpg?itok=IFnOB2UU)
Annetta Marion is a successful film and television director and producer who cares. Among her projects, Marion was the director for much of the Oprah Master Class series, and, more recently, her film Still: A Michael J. Fox Movie, has been making a splash at film festivals and for viewers worldwide.
Marion’s passion for her work shines through in conversation. And it’s that passion that she credits for her successes to date. “I am so humbled and grateful to work in this industry. It's a long, hard journey, but I feel like this is my reason for being here on earth. It is easy because I can't do anything else, or don't want to do anything else, or need to do it to be happy.”
It's always refreshing to hear people who are passionate about what they do, and it’s natural to expect that a love for your work is going to lead to better results and a greater commitment to a positive outcome. According to Marion, caring deeply starts with building authentic connections with the people involved in a project. Regardless of their status or position, Marion believes in meeting individuals where they are and befriending them without any ulterior motives or hidden agendas.
She explained, “You can't fake caring deeply. But if you care deeply, as deeply as humanly possible, about your project and the people in your project, I find that to be the guiding light. Then you're going to do the right thing, you're going to say the right thing.”
For Marion, the key is understanding people on an individual basis and focusing on each individual’s needs, not just generally but in any particular moment.
“Just say you've been working with someone for ten days. They might be a different person on day eleven, because who knows what happened to them that morning? Who knows what's happening in their personal life?
“So, it's really about meeting people where they are in that moment when it changes. Have an open heart to pivot. You might get the idea from the movies that producer and director are very dictatorial positions, but they're not. It's my job to understand what each individual needs and provide that for them.
“Some people need space; some people need to talk for nineteen hours. Some people need to see something typed out; others need to hear it. Some people need all of those things.
"And the trick is to just engage and figure out what everybody needs and give it to them.”
Because Still is a documentary film, many of the key characters in it are not actors (other than the star of the film, of course) but everyday people doing their job, including professionals such as doctors and physical therapists helping Fox deal with his Parkinson’s. Marion shared how she managed to capture authentic and moving moments naturally.
“Yes, we might be making the movie, and that's our main focus. But doctors are doctors, and this movie is part of their plate for the day, although not their main thing. We needed to give people as much time as possible; we're not just going on the movie’s timeline. We also understand that every single individual has a timeline, too.
“It's about being as transparent as possible. It really goes back to the same thing. If you care deeply, all the things that need to happen come naturally. And if you don't care deeply out of the gate, people feel it, people know it.”
The ability to pivot, because you care deeply, doesn’t play out just in how you engage with people but also in how you respond to challenges in projects you’re working on. Marion highlighted the dynamic nature of the movie-making process, where things can change at any moment. As a director or producer, being open to change. The willingness to embrace change not only allows for creative freedom and exploration but also ensures that the project stays true to its vision despite shifting circumstances.
“The general road we were going down with Still was set at the beginning, but the movie, like all movies, went through a million different phases. There's an old saying, you make your movie three times. You make your movie at the beginning, when you write the script or come up with a concept. Second, you make your movie during production, what you're able to shoot. And then third, you make your movie in post-production.
“They're all a little bit different, and they're supposed to be. That's not a failing. That's not like, 'Oh, my goodness, we couldn't shoot what we wanted to.' Everything matures and gets more solid, and things change because of that.
“Preparation is key. And then, when you're in the moment, be able to throw all of that away and pivot. The ability to pivot is something I had to learn, and it's an essential tool in life, frankly, but certainly in making movies and TV shows.”
Caring deeply is not limited to the entertainment world but can be applied in all areas of life, from leadership roles to personal relationships. By caring deeply, we can create a positive and transformative impact on those around us, and ultimately, make a difference in the lives of others and to our own ability to succeed.
References
Lopata Andy, Marion Annetta, 'Building Bridges with Care', The Connected Leadership Podcast 19th June 2023