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Imagine you have a sister who’s addicted to drugs. She has positive qualities, but you keep contact to a minimum. You tolerate her moodiness during seasonal family gatherings, but the rest of the year you avoid her. When she’s clean, you’re the first to champion her admirable traits – dependable, stable, and calm. But you don’t want to be around her. This is how I describe my relationship with psychiatric medications. Xanax is my strung-out sister. And though I appreciate her at times, I wish we didn’t have to work together.
This may sound insensitive coming from a therapist who treats anxiety disorders, but all around me I see individuals going for the quick fix upon the first signs of stress. I’m in the business of helping my clients deal with their feelings, not dull them. While Xanax and other psychiatric drugs have helped to improve the lives of many, and they definitely have their place, the masses of ‘worried-well’ could benefit from leaving their dependency well alone.
Case in point: After a brief hospital stay following a respiratory illness, I had a most depressing run-in with Xanax. While the medical care was top-notch and the staff was wonderful, I could have done without the half-dozen attempts to attach my GABA receptors to the little blue miracle pill.
“I’m sorry, the doctor just called. You have to stay another night. Would you like some Xanax?”
“Do you have anxiety? You seem kind of anxious. I have anxiety and Xanax has been a godsend. It helps me cope at work.”
“Can I get you .25 mg of Xanax to help you sleep?”
In addition to doctors, nurses and social workers, benzodiazepines are now a part of the American healthcare team.
And that is sick.
And so are we.
Medicating Our Feelings Away
According to the recent New York Times article, Medicating Women’s Feelings, there’s a good chance every fourth woman in America reading this article takes a psychiatric medication. For males that number drops down to one of every seven.
More Americans are on psychiatric medications than ever before, and in my experience they are staying on them far longer than was ever intended. Sales of antidepressants and antianxiety meds have been booming in the past two decades, and they’ve recently been outpaced by an antipsychotic, Abilify, that is the No. 1 seller among all drugs in the United States, not just psychiatric ones.
As a psychiatrist practicing for 20 years, I must tell you, this is insane. ~Julie Holland, M.D.
When did our society become so pain-aversive?
Apparently, when we collectively decided we didn’t need to feel pain, or deal with problems. 46+ million prescriptions are written yearly for Xanax in America.
The irony is our penchant for popping pills is making us psychologically soft. Resisting pain, judging, and ignoring uncomfortable emotions means we are in fact, amplifying the very feelings we are trying to suppress.
Busy and bored? Take Xanax.
Sleep deprived? Pop a pill for that, too.
Lacking boundaries? No need for expensive and hard talk therapy when meds are cheap and easy.
Lethargic? Forget the stress and bother of exercising. Get high on benzos and feel fit and trim.
There is No Quick-Fix to Feel Pain
No 5-step plan to shortcut the heady work of increasing mental toughness exists, but it is possible to cut the chemical ties that bind you. Here are a few suggestions:
~Resist the quick hit, and reach out to someone who can help you solve your problems, instead. Reframe setbacks as opportunities for growth.
~Learn how to feel bad. Believing the world does not hold its fair share of problems is to live in denial. Life is a battle on some days, so lace up your gloves and fight for your mental health.
~Taking pills to get through a cutthroat work environment, a high conflict relationship, or a soul-numbingly dry college major is a sign it’s time to make a new plan.
~Initiate calm conflict instead of avoiding confrontation. Standing up for yourself leads to a sense of control.
~Feelings are meant to be felt, and dealt with. Medicating your feelings away does not make them disappear. Unexpressed feelings go somewhere, no matter how many times per day they're swallowed. Humans are complex creatures, we get anxious, sad, angry and depressed. We cry, yell, act out and do silly things. And that is just fine. If someone has a problem with your emotional expression — including tears — it’s their problem, not yours.
So ends this anti-pharmacological plea to my strung out sisters and brothers in America, and beyond. I hope you’ll reconsider your chemically assisted ways. I imagine these words may fall on deaf ears, but on the chance you’re open to taking the edge off with the long and hard fix – may you learn to:
Meditate instead of medicate.
Tolerate frustration.
Embrace pain.
Be yourself.
Fight.
Cry.
*****
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Copyright Linda Esposito, LCSW. 2015
