How to Be Your Sexiest, Smartest, and Happiest Self

More is better, right? It is the human condition to want and get lost in wants. We have been aching to be our best since the beginning of time. Now, thanks to the invasive advertisement industry, perfection seems within our reach, and we are practically dying for it. In fact, the average life expectancy in the United States has dropped three years in a row because of opioid overdose and suicide.¹ Aside from escaping into the woods, it is impossible to overlook the plethora of promises to optimize body, mind, and spirit.

Why should we perfect ourselves? Because we can. Where there is a will, there is a product or procedure. Today, at the dermatologist, I almost overdosed on potential remedies. The walls were covered with messages about how to rejuvenate and fat-freeze. I got to know the fixes for problems I didn’t know I had. It feels as if we must perfect ourselves or risk to become an obsolete model. No wonder high anxiety is on the rise (see also Good-bye High Anxiety).

Many intellectuals are worried about the rise of artificial intelligence as computerized machines are rapidly replacing working people. This is an important worry. Millions of men and women have already lost factory and administration jobs, which is but the beginning of what is yet to come. Many movies have been made about machines taking over the world, from Terminator to Ex Machina. The all-important question seems to be: will robots become better than even the most perfected human, which will lead inevitably to the extinction of Homo sapiens? While it is important to get the correct answer to this question, I do believe that it seduces us to overlook the already existing problem of dehumanization. We are artificially enhancing ourselves to our detriment as it is. While worrying about whether to accept a microchip in our bodies, we are not afraid (enough) of the many chemicals that alter our minds.

For example, psychedelics are regaining in popularity as intellectuals suggest that they can make us more creative and loving. Never mind that they can also cause suicide, even without preexisting depression and even when consumed in a so-called micro dosage. And never mind that there is usually a good, psychological reason for not being as creative and loving. When we try to take shortcuts, we deprive ourselves of the human journey of overcoming obstacles naturally.

The consumption of alcohol is frightening, especially in young people. There is nothing natural about drinking oneself to oblivion. Drinking is no longer what it used to be and is now frequently out of control. We are not talking enough about this dangerous drug, possibly because we feel guilty for using it recreationally ourselves. Many young people feel sexy when drunk, which, ironically, can dramatically reduce their attractiveness.

Furthermore, there is hardly a problem that, allegedly, cannot be cured with a pill. Parents have begun to believe that there is something wrong with inattentive children, when no human being has ever been born with a focused mind. It is a skill one must learn, often arduously, if not painfully. Likewise, grief is often seen as a disorder for which psychotropic medication is quickly prescribed. Instead of learning to manage the abundance of food, we are being offered appetite suppressants. Kids are given sleep medication in lieu of boundaries for their electronical devices. Teens are often highly medicated for their crazy, but normal teen brains. While it is wonderful that we have access to medications when people are in real need for them, we must not forget that the process of becoming is human and in itself rewarding.

So, how can you become your sexiest, smartest, and happiest self ever when artificial enhancement is not the way? The best resolution is to content yourself with your humanness. It is okay to be human. It is okay to be you. This is not to say that there is anything wrong with wanting to self-improve. All living beings are in the process of becoming, which makes striving natural. However, we are also and simultaneously living only fully in this moment, which is being. Humanness is expressed in the Middle Way. We are perfect and can all use a little self-improvement.

When you content yourself with your humanness, you have the space to become and to be. You are sexiest when you smile calmly and openly to the way you are, smartest when you deal skillfully with your imperfections, and happiest when you engage fully with others, your endeavors, and the unfolding of life “as is”.

© 2019 Andrea F. Polard, PsyD. All Rights Reserved.