Ask Dr. E

Answers to your questions about insomnia,paranoia, shyness,
forgiveness and more.

Dear Dr. E.,

My brother suffers from paranoia. He feels that everyone is
watching him and trying to get him to lose his job. He also thinks
newspapers and the media are out to get him. How can I help?

M., Peoria, Arizona

Dear M.,

Paranoia is a disorder of thinking and, thus, difficult to
penetrate. A person who suffers paranoid delusions will always find proof
that they are being watched or conspired against, even in benign
situations. As a paranoid friend of mine used to say, "Even though I'm
paranoid, that doesn't mean people aren't watching me." It's hard to beat
that logic. Your brother may benefit from medication and the right
therapist.

Dear Dr. E.,

Lately I've only been sleeping about five hours a night. I tried
over-the-counter sleep aids but they worked only temporarily. Could
something be wrong? How can I get more sleep?

F., Weymouth, Massachusetts

Dear J.,

There are a number of things you can do to improve the quality and
quantity of sleep. A consistent, relaxing routine begun a couple of hours
before your bedtime will help to separate you from the pressures of the
day. Try lounging in a hot tub or bathtub. Take a slow walk. Drink some
warm milk. Read a light novel. A better bed might help. If your
environment is distracting, try foam earplugs or an eye mask. When you
find a routine that works, be sure to stick to it. Sleep is critical for
better health, mood and performance.

Dear Dr. E.,

I have always been a social phobic and can never make any friends
or even start a relationship. I don't feel any different from other
people, and I like myself, but nobody else likes me. Is there a way I can
treat myself?

F., Baltimore, Maryland

Dear J.,

Social phobia--also known as shyness--is a condition affecting
millions of Americans, and studies suggest that it's becoming more
widespread. It's difficult to self-treat, simply because self-treatment
often avoids the object of the phobia: other people. Various kinds of
skill training, role playing and group therapies are very effective in
the treatment of social phobias. For additional information, consult
www.shyness.com

Dear Dr. E,

I'm on my fourth marriage. My first three wives cheated on me, and
now I'm suspicious of everything my current wife does, though she
probably deserves my trust. What can I do?

K., Sikeston, Missouri

Dear K.,

As they say, "Burn me once, shame on you. Burn me twice, shame on
me." It seems you've had some bad luck and that your past is plaguing
your current relationship. A skilled counselor can help you resolve old
issues. You need to be able to compartmentalize, interpret and understand
them so that you'll be able to take a fresh look at every new day.

Dear Dr. E.,

Can stress or a change in a person's emotional state alter the
effectiveness of medications?

L., Bellefontaine, Ohio

Dear L.,

Absolutely. Stress produces real chemical changes in the body.
Among other things, it releases a variety of powerful hormones, such as
cortisol. These chemical changes can easily interfere with the
effectiveness of medication, and they can also inhibit the immune system
and damage vital organs.

Dear Dr. E,

I was supposed to be the maid of honor at my best friend's wedding.
Then she changed her mind in favor of her sister. Finally, the wedding
was held for family members only. I'm now getting married, and I don't
know if I want her as my maid of honor. Part of me still feels hurt and
betrayed. What should I do?

S., Los Angeles, California

Dear S.,

If you care about your friend, and if there's no one you'd rather
invite, try to put the past aside and give your Mend this honor. Is it
possible she didn't mean to slight you?

PHOTO (COLOR): Robert Epstein, Ph.D.