Living the Fairy Tale

Everywhere we turn there is buzz about the royal wedding. We all want to believe in fairy tales. We want to believe in "happily ever after", but then we wake up in real life.

I am not trying to be depressing here-but rather realistic. Life is not "happily ever after". Life is ups and downs.

So what is it that connects us so completely to the royal wedding? What connects us to fairy tales? They tap into our deep-seated desires. We want to be swept off our feet in love and romance. We want to be cared for. We want to feel secure. We want to be valued. The beauty surrounding the royal wedding seems to promise all of that. It promises a prince that will come and offer a secure future. A prince who will offer love, romance and the sense of being valued just because we complete someone's life even if we have been lying in a bed for 100 years fast asleep.

So how do we discover these aspects of the fairy tale in our own lives? How can we live the dream?

The first challenge is how do we value ourselves? In the fairy tale, the princess was valued just because of who she was-she didn't have to do anything to prove herself. She could be sleeping, she could have been poisoned by an apple, she could have been covered in cinders and still she was the desired object. In my beamaia blog, I wrote about value. We often equate our value with how much money we're making or whether we're making other people happy or any number of qualities. So, that is the first writing prompt-how do you value yourself? Others? Journal about what you value in yourself and in life.

We need to think about what measures of value we are instilling in ourselves. Do you feel that you are of more valuable the more money you make, the skinnier you are, the prettier, the whatever.... These messages sound silly when we look at them directly. But the challenge? Those are some of the messages that are being provided in our toxic environment. Journal about what messages you are getting each and every day.

The second challenge is can we recognize our own princess qualities? Can we appreciate our uniqueness? Can we praise ourselves or do we sell ourselves short? We may need to journal to remind ourselves that we are unique. We are all princesses or princes in our own lives. We need to remember our passions. We need to remember what we believe in and what makes us feel whole. Sometimes we need to reconnect with parts of ourselves that we may have forgotten about. Maybe as a child you loved painting or clay. Rediscovering those past joys can allow you to create just to create without the expectation of producing something extraordinary. Reconnect with your playful spirit! Reconnect and love yourself. You don't need to wait for love and care from someone else-you can provide it to yourself.

So....

• Journal about what you value. What beliefs do you hold which might be holding you back. You need to understand if you are subtly criticizing yourself. Do you feel that you are not valuable because you are currently home with kids and not employed? Do you feel less valuable because you are not pursuing your dream? Journal to discover what beliefs maybe holding you back. Journal to remind yourself that you are valuable just because you are you.
• Journal your own praises-write about what you love about yourself. Write yourself a love letter! Maybe it sounds silly, but sometimes, we forget why we are special. We need to reconnect with our unique qualities. We need to rediscover our passions and strengthens.
• Journal your own fairy tale. You might discover something new about yourself. One time I was given this prompt-you have a magic mirror and when you look inside you see whatever you desire. My story took a twist that I didn't expect. In the mirror I saw myself with an organized house and fabulously cooked meals. I saw "the fairy tale", but at the end of the story, I cracked the mirror and broke it. Why? Because I realized I needed my imperfections in order to live my life and to write. If I am always trying to be perfect, then I hold myself back because I'm afraid to make mistakes. That is not the fairy tale-that is the nightmare.

Go, Write On! And discover your passions, your beliefs, your truths.

Best,

Martha Peaslee Levine, MD

http://www.eatingdisordersblogs.com/your_write_to_health

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/your-write-health

http://www.beamaia.com

©Martha Peaslee Levine, MD