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Key points
- Social media can become a crutch for connection, creating a false sense of true engagement.
- Younger people can become more reliant on social media, creating distorted views of connection.
- Social media can actually create a disconnect with meaningful, closer relationships.
Perhaps the most ironic modern-day cause of withdrawal, isolation, and even depression, comes via social media.
On the one hand, when used responsibly and in moderation, social media makes life easier and better. It can provide consistent connection and communication with friends and family, and reduce feelings of isolation among the elderly. Social media also creates opportunities to promote a small business and promote awareness about a worthy cause.
On the other hand, misuse of technology and social media can be anything but social. Used unwisely or without discernment, they can be instruments of hatred, hostility, misinformation, and exclusion.
Social Media Overuse Can Be Insidious
Even when we keep things civil, technology and social media can be overused. You see it wherever you go. Men and women, teens, and even children sit staring at the cell phones in their hands. People cluster in groups but are transfixed by their tiny screens. Drivers attempt to steer vehicles while texting, endangering their passengers as well as other drivers.
We’ve all seen groups of friends or whole families dining together in restaurants, forgoing in-person conversation to stare silently at their cell phones. Indeed, a growing body of research makes it clearer every year that social media use has a dark side—including the elevated risk of withdrawal, isolation, and depression. The dangers posed by excessive or imbalanced use of social media include:
- decreased verbal and nonverbal communication skills
- decreased in-person interaction
- literal endangerment due to distraction
- an increased sense of loneliness and isolation
- a distorted sense of reality due to misinformation and censorship
- connection addiction and FOMO—the Fear of Missing Out
- lower self-esteem and “comparison anxiety”
- a false sense of intimacy
- virtual cancellation, which declares you and your opinion unworthy of public attention
Young People Are More Easily Affected
Young people are more likely to be impacted by the negative effect of social media interaction on mental health and well-being. Compounding matters, young people tend to be especially dependent on both social media and peer norms and approval, making them particularly vulnerable to social media’s harms, including the production of false selves, the deluge of people enjoying others’ company, and ostracism and bullying.[1]
When considering the link between loneliness and social media use, studies show that the way in which a person uses social media is significant. Using technology to maintain or develop new friendships through Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, TikTok, or other apps can help certain relationships flourish. However, if social media acts as a substitute for in-person relationships, a person’s sense of isolation and inadequacy can worsen.[2]
Overreliance on Social Media for Connection Can Be Dangerous
While the internet or social media may provide helpful information and communication forums with friends and family, it is counterproductive to rely on technology for meaningful friendship. Good people are out there, and they want and need positive friendships as much as you do. So take the risk: Put down your electronic devices and initiate getting involved with others and nurturing friendships.
Options are almost limitless. Join a gardening or chess club, participate in a painting night, or try an exercise or cooking class. Activities exist for any area of interest you have—including both active and passive recreation. Whether you like being indoors or outdoors, with large groups or small groups, opportunities to connect with people abound!
In our modern era, we have countless methods of communicating and an ever-growing social group. Why, then, do so many people report feeling isolated, lonely, and depressed? Perhaps the key isn’t communicating more or differently with others but how we attempt to communicate and reconnect with ourselves. Below are two ways to listen to your loneliness and an explanation of why it’s a worthwhile endeavor:
Have an honest conversation with yourself. Loneliness is a sign that we have been neglecting our own needs. When was the last time you checked in with yourself? We spend so much of our time outwardly focused that it’s easy to overlook our own needs. Neglecting yourself will only intensify your sense of separation.
Reconnect With Yourself
To get back in touch with yourself, start by journaling about your biggest disappointments, deepest yearnings, and greatest hopes for the next three months. You might be surprised at what you discover about yourself in the process.
Examine how your lifestyle might be reinforcing loneliness. Your individual health and the health of your relationships are determined almost completely by the choices you make, moment by moment and day by day. Our modern culture contributes to loneliness and isolation. But we are not helpless and defenseless against the forces that surround us. We can choose to use technology wisely. We can choose to regulate our schedule to allow breathing room.
Set aside time to assess your daily routine and choices—and see how you might be contributing to your own sense of disconnection. Loneliness is healed when we foster a stronger, healthier relationship with ourselves. And that’s a relationship guaranteed to last.
Once we understand ourselves well and recognize the sources of our feelings of separation, we’re in an excellent position to develop connections with other people by adopting attitudes and actions that will propel us forward. In the next section, we’ll explore many ways to form deeper and richer relationships.
References
[1] “Loneliness in America,” Harvard Graduate School of Education.
[2] Sherry Amatenstein, “Not So Social Media: How Social Media Increases Loneliness,” Psycom.net. https://www.psycom.net/how-social-media-increases-loneliness/ (March 3, 2022).
