Verified by Children and Sleep
Sleep is crucial to a child’s development, health, and well-being, regardless of age, and most experts encourage parents to support their children’s sleep needs however they can. Kids, in general, need significantly more sleep than adults—and those who get enough tend to do better in school, be in better physical shape, and struggle less with depression, anxiety, or other mental health challenges.
But sleep, unfortunately, can also be a pressure point for families. When a child consistently resists going to bed, struggles to fall asleep, or gets up frequently during the night, it can lead to stress and conflict that ultimately exhaust both child and parent. Childhood sleep disorders can present with confusing symptoms that may be misdiagnosed or that exacerbate other diagnoses. During the teen years, children may push boundaries by staying up all night, using their phone in bed, or sleeping in well into the afternoon—any of which can interrupt a consistent sleep schedule and interfere with their social, emotional, and academic functioning.
Understanding how much sleep a child should ideally be getting at a particular age, and navigating common pressure points that can make going to bed challenging, can help children (and their parents) get all the rest they need.
“Sleep like a baby” is often used as shorthand for long periods of restful, uninterrupted sleep—but in reality, true infant sleep is often anything but. Newborn babies need large amounts of sleep to support their rapidly growing brains and bodies, but have not yet developed the same circadian rhythm that adults enjoy. As a result, they doze for most of the day, wake frequently, fall asleep suddenly, and pay little attention to whether it’s day or night.
Parenting a newborn is stressful and fatiguing in large part because of a baby’s fragmented sleep schedule. But rest assured that infant sleep patterns don’t last forever—and as a baby grows, he or she will begin to sleep more consistently and adhere to a more regular schedule.
Babies will spend a good portion of their first months of life fast asleep. The National Sleep Foundation notes that full-term newborns typically sleep 14 to 17 hours a day; between the age of four and 11 months, that amount decreases slightly to approximately 12 to 15 hours. Most of this sleep will be non-consecutive, as babies wake frequently in the night and take naps throughout the day.
Babies’ brains and bodies develop rapidly from the moment they’re born—and sleep is crucial for every aspect of this process. In the first year of life, a baby’s brain more than doubles in size; during sleep, a baby’s brain forms connections between the left and right hemispheres that are important for later cognition. Many babies also grow to twice their birth weight in the first five months; evidence finds that greater amounts of time spent asleep are associated with particularly rapid periods of physical growth in infants.
It’s not uncommon for babies, especially newborns, to wake several times during the night. Babies’ stomachs are small, so they need to eat frequently to meet their nutritional needs and support their rapid growth; thus, they may wake shortly after falling asleep merely because they’re hungry. They may also be physically uncomfortable or need to be changed. Though frequent awakenings can be frustrating (not to mention exhausting) for parents, they’re usually not something to worry about and tend to decrease over time.
Each baby is different, but like adults, babies benefit from having a consistent bedtime, a predictable bedtime routine, and a nighttime environment that is comfortable and relaxing. Experts debate whether parents should let babies “cry it out” if they wake during the night, or whether they should try to soothe the baby back to sleep each time. Both strategies have shown effectiveness in research. To help a baby sleep through the night on a regular basis, it may be best to test out multiple approaches to see what works and what best suits the needs of both parent and baby.
Since babies’ sleep schedule is fragmented and drastically different from that of adults, it can be difficult for parents—especially first-time parents—to determine what’s “normal” and what isn’t. Common sleep problems include babies who fuss while on their back (the recommended sleep position for infants); sleep regression (in which a baby who was able to sleep through the night stops being able to do so); and problems falling asleep without a parent present. While many of these issues resolve on their own, talking to a pediatrician when any arise can help many parents feel at ease.
Yes. Infants, for example, can have sleep apnea; the disorder is significantly more prevalent in pre-term infants. Babies can also struggle with insomnia, though it’s much less common than it is in adults.
Babies' sleep problems generally fall in the categories of too-frequent wakings or separation anxiety, both of which tend to resolve on their own. But keep in mind that babies who have persistent trouble sleeping at night may have a greater risk of developing a sleep disorder as they get older. If a child consistently has trouble settling down, it may be a good idea to bring it up to a pediatrician, even if a diagnosable sleep disorder is not present.
As children leave infancy, they still need large amounts of sleep in order to grow and to support their physical and emotional health. While they may still wake up at night or want to sleep in their parents’ bed from time to time, their sleep will ideally become more consistent and more independent as they grow. While some children who co-slept with their parents as infants continue the practice well into their elementary years, many children—particularly those in developed countries, where co-sleeping is less common—prefer to sleep either on their own or with siblings.
But despite improvements over a child's first few years of life, the elementary and tween years can still be impacted by sleep problems—such as frequent waking, bedtime resistance, bed-wetting, or insomnia. Children with mental health disorders such as anxiety or ADHD may be more susceptible to sleep problems or to arguments about bedtime. In most cases, sleep problems are a phase that children will grow out of with support and understanding; persistent issues, however, may be worth bringing up with a doctor.
According to the National Sleep Foundation, toddlers usually need between 11 and 14 hours of sleep. Children between the ages of 3 and 5 should aim to get between 10 and 13 hours of sleep; those between the ages of 6 and 13 should be getting between 9 and 11 hours of sleep, and teenagers should be getting between 8 and 10 hours of sleep. These amounts are just guidelines, however, and may not be appropriate for every child; if a child sleeps slightly more or slightly less, it is likely not a cause for concern.
One all-nighter may make a child grumpy and out-of-sorts the next day, but it isn’t likely to cause lasting damage. Children who consistently stay up well into the night or skip out on sleep entirely, however, will most likely not get all the sleep they need to grow and succeed.
Children can resist bedtime for a number of reasons, even if they’re obviously tired. Some children—particularly those with ADHD—may be too wound-up and have trouble calming their minds and bodies to get ready for bed. Other children may argue about going to bed because it’s a way to get parental attention (even negative attention). Children may be anxious, worrying about something, or sad; avoiding going to their bedroom can also help them avoid these negative emotions. Some researchers even hypothesize that children protest bedtime because of an evolutionary mismatch that causes them to subconsciously fear being in the dark alone.
There are a number of ways to help children move past bedtime resistance. If the child is regularly too wound-up to sleep, implementing a relaxing and consistent bedtime routine can help calm her down and mentally prepare her for sleep. If children refuse bedtime as a means to get attention, ensuring that they get plenty of opportunities to spend time with parents, both during and before bedtime, can help. Nightlights, sharing a room with a sibling, or talking worries out with a parent or other trusted adult can help children manage nighttime anxiety.
Regular, restorative sleep has been consistently associated with improved attention and mood, as well as decreased impulsivity and hyperactivity. On the other hand, children and teens who consistently get poor sleep are at greater risk for depression, anxiety, irritability, and poorer academic performance.
When it comes to a child’s growth, sleep is essential. During sleep, the body secretes hormones that are critical for normal development and physical growth. During REM sleep, in particular, the body secretes growth hormone, key for cell regeneration and reproduction. Insufficient sleep, on the other hand, may result in stalled growth during critical developmental stages.
The teen years can be tumultuous for a number of reasons. But one major cause of conflict between parents and teens can be sleep. Adolescents need less sleep than younger children, but still significantly more than adults; what’s more, their internal clock may be naturally inclined toward a later bedtime, which may result in them sleeping in far past the time their parents want them to be up. Teens may also behave rebelliously about sleep, purposely defying parents’ orders to go to bed as a means of testing their independence. Recognizing the unique sleep needs of teenagers, encouraging consistency, and supporting reasonable levels of independence can help parents guide their teens toward healthier sleep habits.
Teenagers need more sleep than adults—typically about 8 to 10 hours a night. The National Sleep Foundation suggests that up to 11 hours may be warranted for some adolescents. Concerning research suggests, however, that as little as 15 percent of teens may be getting the recommended amount of sleep.
It depends. Teens’ circadian rhythms naturally favor late bedtimes and late starts; waking them up too early can be detrimental to their overall sleep quality and may trigger conflict. But while in hunter-gatherer times, teens going to sleep and waking later would not be much cause for concern, in the modern world, it can significantly interfere with their academic and cognitive performance. Though many high schools are beginning to implement later start times to support teens' sleep needs, the practice is not yet universal, and teens whose schools start early may be consistently overtired if they go to bed late. Like any child, teens benefit from consistency. Parents may be wise, however, to allow a little flexibility; as a teen explores her needs and continues to grow into an adult, she will ideally learn to recognize how much sleep she needs and what sleep schedule works best for her life.
Teens’ internal clocks are not set to the same time as those of adults; in fact, their bodies typically don’t start producing melatonin (the hormone that promotes sleep) until around 11 p.m. This means that teens will naturally gravitate toward going to sleep later—or even staying up all night—and then waking late the next morning (or afternoon). The shift to a night-owl schedule typically starts around puberty and lasts until young adulthood.
The same strategies that help adults get to sleep can be useful for teens. These include: a consistent, relaxing bedtime routine; making sure the bedroom is cool and dark; avoiding caffeine and large meals late in the evening; and exercising consistently. It's also critical that teens aren't overscheduled and overworked; too many extracurricular activities, combined with excessive schoolwork, may push even a tired teen to stay up late. Some evidence suggests that allowing teenagers to sleep in on weekends (within reason) may help them catch up on lost sleep accrued during the week.
It may be. Late-night smartphone use is consistently associated with poor sleep in children and adults alike; teens may be especially susceptible because their heightened desire for social approval and interaction may lead them to repeatedly check social networking sites for updates or to text friends late into the night. Using phones while in bed has also been associated with an increased risk of depressed mood and lower self-esteem, though it’s unclear whether such associations are correlational or the result of cause-and-effect.
Some teens have no problems unplugging at night on their own. For those that don’t, making a teenager’s bedroom a no-phone zone may result in better sleep—but like all new rules, it should be implemented with care.
Parents should make sure they have open, non-judgmental conversations with their teen about sleep and phone use, and explain clearly why any new rules are in the teen’s best interest. They should prepare for arguments and excuses for why the phone needs to be in the bedroom—the teen might say, for instance, that she needs her phone as an alarm. Parents would also be well-advised to follow the same no-phones-in-the-bedroom rule themselves; teens are more likely to be convinced if they see their parents practicing what they preach.
