5 Techniques to Deal with Others’ Unproductive Mindsets

This post is part three of a five-part series.

How does dealing with others’ negative, fixed, or selfish mindsets impact leaders?

Leaders often don’t recognize how incredibly draining others’ unproductive mindsets can be on their energy. As these individuals can be found in any part of the organization, including team members, employees, leaders, and external partners, it’s crucial to learn how to handle this challenging aspect of leadership.

In a recent study, I uncovered the top five drains of a CEO’s energy, which applies to all leaders. Through a series of five posts, I’m exploring what’s behind each drain and how leaders can overcome them to lead at their best.

My first post focused on leaders feeling a loss of control over their day and schedule. My second post centered on the drain of emotional labor in leadership.

This third post highlights the drain of dealing with others’ negative and unproductive mindsets. Examples of counterproductive mindsets include:

• When others are focused on their own agenda rather than the good of the organization
• When others are fixated on the way they have always done things instead of bringing a growth mindset
• When others have a negative mindset, complain or act manipulative

Two main reasons unproductive mindsets are depleting:

1. The individual displaying the unproductive mindset literally transfers their negative energy to other people. They exhibit negative leadership behaviors, by draining, discouraging and demoralizing others in the workplace.
2. Leaders can struggle by spending additional energy attempting to control what they can’t actually influence around others’ mindsets. For instance, by trying to change the mindsets of others without them being interested in growing.

Leaders only have so much energy; directing it in the right place matters. Your energy is best served in the places you can control and influence. Overall, you are in control of the choices you make and can become empowered in yourself.

5 techniques to deal with others’ unproductive mindsets

By focusing on managing your energy and on what you can control and influence, you can effectively deal with others’ unproductive mindsets.

1. Care for your wellbeing

As it’s often impossible to fully ignore others’ negative energy in the workplace, it’s essential to care for your wellbeing to refill your energy from this leadership drain.

Prioritizing your well-being is how you get your main source of energy to build your vitality. With vital leadership, leaders can replenish their energy to have the inner physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual resources to lead at their full capacity.

2. Check in with your energy resources

Consciously check in with your energy resources after interactions with others. Was the interaction energizing, neutral or draining? Identify interactions that regularly deplete your energy. You might notice different interactions with the same person have mixed effects on your energy. Be most aware when you feel consistently drained after interacting with someone.

3. Set and hold boundaries

Once you have a clearer understanding of those who consistently drain your energy, set boundaries to protect yourself and manage your energy.

What’s in your control to set boundaries around? What would be the least draining ways to interact with them? Boundaries could include:

• The amount of time you spend with them
• How much you work with or interact with them
• The ways in which you communicate with them

4. Bring awareness to what’s in and out of your control

There are places where you can help others move from one type of mindset to another—such as from a fixed to a growth mindset. Alternatively, there are people not willing to take that step. Instead of getting obsessed about trying to control what you can’t actually influence around others’ mindsets, you can learn to distinguish between what you can and cannot influence.

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Bring awareness to what’s in and out of your control by reflecting on the following:

• What do I have control over? What can I influence?
• What is out of my control?

Asking yourself these questions can be a powerful illuminator of where you might be spending your energy in the wrong places and how to focus it more productively.

5. Cultivate gratitude to build a positive mindset

While at times what you want to impact can feel outside of your control, it’s important to remember you do have control and influence over your mindset. You can choose to develop a positive mindset, which is associated with greater wellbeing and resilience.

One of the most powerful tools to build more positive thinking and gratitude. Gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness and the ability to have a positive mindset. Cultivating gratitude focuses our attention on thankful appreciation and seeing each moment as a gift.

Begin by noticing and writing down what you are grateful for and what’s working well at your workplace. Areas could include: the work itself, how you show up and lead, your team and organization, and your environment. Incorporate gratitude for small aspects of your work that you don’t typically think about because they consistently function. Proactively express your appreciation and say “thank you” to others.

Reflection: What’s one action you could take to better deal with others’ unproductive mindsets?

Leaders often don’t realize others’ negative, fixed or selfish mindsets deplete their energy. By becoming aware of this leadership drain, leaders can learn how to direct their energy to the right places and focus on what they can influence. Leaders have a choice in how they show up and lead every day. They can lead with a positive and growth mindset. They can shine their light, which will create a positive ripple effect for their leadership, team and organization.