Are You an Overfunctioning Leader? How to Tell and Fix It

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Do you keep adding items to your work “plate” that have no business being there? Do you struggle to find time to reflect, strategize, and plan?

You’re probably overfunctioning.

The great news is that when you become aware of this pattern, you’ll free up time and energy for the key tasks that only you, the leader, can do.

I recently came across an excellent discussion of overfunctioning in the book Rebecoming, by clinical psychologist Dr. Merry C. Lin, PhD. The book itself isn’t leadership-focused, but in a chapter called “High-Functioning or Over-Functioning”, Lin describes how she, in her role as executive director and supervising psychologist at a large clinic, overfunctioned to exhaustion.

Understanding overfunctioning

Lin defines overfunctioning as "taking responsibility not just for your own life but for the lives of those around you."

Driven by people-pleasing tendencies, and wanting to protect her team, her self-appointed unofficial roles included “supervisor, plumber, lightbulb changer, repair person, administrative assistant, file clerk, housekeeper, and cheerleader.”

I’ve coached leaders for over a decade, and I’ve never worked with anyone who was overfunctioning this much. Nonetheless, I have observed this behavior in virtually every leader I’ve worked with.

Overfunctioners have very high capacities, are responsible and reliable, and frequently perform at a high level. High performers have received lifelong applause and affirmation for their impressive performance. They get promoted into leadership because of their ability to multitask, meet high expectations, do the hard things, and get things done.

Lin writes: “High functioning leaders…are driven by high expectations and can end up in this dance of over-functioning to compensate for gaps they see around them. And so, committed conscientious people often burn themselves out.”

Signs That You’re Overfunctioning

Overfunctioning can look like this:

• Doing work that you know should delegate to someone else
• Taking care of tasks that are another person's responsibility
• Setting goals for other people that they have not set for themselves
• Worrying excessively about other people and their problems
• Offering frequent advice to others
• Feeling personally responsible for the feelings and happiness of another person

Overfunctioning isn’t just overdoing. It’s also overthinking and overfeeling for others in a way that interferes with their self-efficacy.

Now here’s the kicker. According to Lin, overfunctioning is always driven by anxiety. “This anxiety keeps us in hypervigilant overdrive,” she writes. “Fear of failure or letting people down nips at our heels, keeping us in high gear.”

This is particularly challenging if our sense of worth is directly connected to our need to be seen by others as high-functioning. Ouch.

When you overfunction, it always leads to someone else underfunctioning. As a leader, despite your good intentions, you may be inhibiting the growth of your team.

How to Overcome Overfunctioning

Lin describes six steps to overcome your tendency to overfunction:

1. Cultivate awareness of your anxiety and how it motivates you to act. Notice your tendency to jump in to control a situation or person. Ask yourself where your anxiety is coming from, and why you are trying to control that situation.
2. Learn to tolerate the discomfort of letting go. Get curious about what you are worried will happen if you don’t jump in. When you notice your anxiety kick in, do something new to calm it. Take some breaths. Do something else that needs doing.
3. Recognize that overfunctioning is a form of compulsive self-soothing. Overfunctioning works. When we step in, it briefly lowers our anxiety. That works until the next situation emerges, and then it rises again. Instead of focusing on jumping in or worrying, notice and take responsibility for your own reaction.
4. Give yourself grace and patience. Shifting a deeply ingrained response takes time. I often say to the leaders I work with, that as soon as they’re watching for a pattern, they’ll notice it as they’re doing it or after the fact. This is something to celebrate rather than despair over. You’re becoming aware. That’s an essential step for implementing change. If you can, go back and undo whatever you caught yourself doing.
5. Use self-care to repair the impact of chronic overfunctioning. In Lin’s words: “Stop white knuckling it and pushing yourself to keep doing so much for everyone!” Note your own exhaustion and the impact of overfunctioning on your stress levels and your body. Instead of doing something for someone else, ask yourself what you need most, right now.
6. Set new boundaries. Take a look at all the things you do at work. What’s really yours to do? Note the tasks you’ve assigned yourself due to overfunctioning. Once you’re clear on what you need to stop doing, consider having an honest conversation with your team. Be prepared that while some may feel relieved, those who have been underfunctioning may feel anxious.

Consider working with a coach, mentor, or therapist as you navigate and address this issue. As Lin writes: “There may need to be a season of slowly letting go … as your coworkers learn the skills they need to take on the responsibility that’s properly theirs.”

© 2024 Dr. Susan Biali Haas