The Gift of Maybe

Sport and Competition

When Seeking Pleasure Turns Into Emotional Pain

Allison Carmen on November 4, 2015

There is nothing wrong with desires and pleasure seeking; it is perfectly normal to want wonderful things and experiences. But longing to repeat an experience that has already happened is a type of pleasure-seeking that can leave us feeling miserable. Our minds become so focused on repeating a past experience that we that we can’t appreciate the new moment we are in.

There is nothing wrong with desires and pleasure seeking; it is perfectly normal to want wonderful things and experiences. But longing to repeat an experience that has already happened is a type of pleasure-seeking that can leave us feeling miserable. Our minds become so focused on repeating a past experience that we that we can’t appreciate the new moment we are in.

Optimism

Sometimes We Can't Put a Positive Spin on Our Troubles

Allison Carmen on October 9, 2015

Sometimes it is hard to see the positive side of life when you feel disappointed or an unexpected event leaves you feeling alone and groundless. You want to feel optimistic but you just don’t see how life will change or what could possibly make things better. This is a perfect moment to let Maybe into your life.

Sometimes it is hard to see the positive side of life when you feel disappointed or an unexpected event leaves you feeling alone and groundless. You want to feel optimistic but you just don’t see how life will change or what could possibly make things better. This is a perfect moment to let Maybe into your life.

Fear

How Can We Not Sweat The Big Stuff?

Allison Carmen on September 17, 2015

We can feel overwhelmed and stressed during uncertain and challenging times. Our fear of how things will work out and what it will mean for our lives can make it hard to gain perspective. Is there a mindset that can ease our minds and offer us hope and possibility in any situation? MAYBE there is.

We can feel overwhelmed and stressed during uncertain and challenging times. Our fear of how things will work out and what it will mean for our lives can make it hard to gain perspective. Is there a mindset that can ease our minds and offer us hope and possibility in any situation? MAYBE there is.

Stress

Reducing Our Children's Stress During The School Year

Allison Carmen on August 26, 2015

As our children are heading back to school, they may already appear a little more stressed. Within weeks of school starting, our children can become irritable, sleep less and you may notice things getting out of whack with family life at home. Here are six tips you can use to help reduce your child's stress so they can feel more balanced and get their work done.

As our children are heading back to school, they may already appear a little more stressed. Within weeks of school starting, our children can become irritable, sleep less and you may notice things getting out of whack with family life at home. Here are six tips you can use to help reduce your child's stress so they can feel more balanced and get their work done.

Gratitude

The Blessings of a Messy Room

Allison Carmen on August 14, 2015

We can feel angry and frustrated when our children do not clean their rooms, put the dishes in the sink or do their other chores. What would happen if we see their mess as a blessing? It could be the key to less emotional suffering and experiencing more joy each day we spend with our children.

We can feel angry and frustrated when our children do not clean their rooms, put the dishes in the sink or do their other chores. What would happen if we see their mess as a blessing? It could be the key to less emotional suffering and experiencing more joy each day we spend with our children.

Career

Do You Want More Respect and Recognition for Your Work?

Allison Carmen on July 23, 2015

The desire for appreciation and respect from others often stems from a fear that things are not all right. We are afraid that we're not who we should be or we're not accomplishing enough with our lives. Yet the trap is that we can’t always get from others what we are looking for and must look within in order to find any semblance of stability and freedom.

The desire for appreciation and respect from others often stems from a fear that things are not all right. We are afraid that we're not who we should be or we're not accomplishing enough with our lives. Yet the trap is that we can’t always get from others what we are looking for and must look within in order to find any semblance of stability and freedom.

Career

How Can We Face a Difficult Time With a New Perspective?

Allison Carmen on July 16, 2015

Many of us lose perspective in the situations we are dealing with in our lives, no matter what they are. A particular situation becomes all-consuming and we start to believe that we need it to work out a particular way for our lives to be okay. How can we create some separation from our problems to gain a new perspective and relieve some of our stress and worry?

Many of us lose perspective in the situations we are dealing with in our lives, no matter what they are. A particular situation becomes all-consuming and we start to believe that we need it to work out a particular way for our lives to be okay. How can we create some separation from our problems to gain a new perspective and relieve some of our stress and worry?

Openness

The Joy Of Giving

Allison Carmen on June 5, 2015

When we can release our expectations and help another person with the pure intention of just giving, it can be one of the most thrilling aspects of our lives, even when we get nothing in return. As Winston Churchill said, “We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.”

When we can release our expectations and help another person with the pure intention of just giving, it can be one of the most thrilling aspects of our lives, even when we get nothing in return. As Winston Churchill said, “We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.”

Psychopharmacology

How Can Letting Go Make Us Stronger?

Allison Carmen on May 29, 2015

It can be tough to let go of expectations and attachments when the unexpected happens. Yet, if we can find a mantra or a tool to help us let go of our thoughts about what might have been, we often make room to embrace whatever we are experiencing. We can come to the moment with an open heart and avail ourselves to all that is possible.

It can be tough to let go of expectations and attachments when the unexpected happens. Yet, if we can find a mantra or a tool to help us let go of our thoughts about what might have been, we often make room to embrace whatever we are experiencing. We can come to the moment with an open heart and avail ourselves to all that is possible.

Relationships

Is There Ever Just One Side To A Story?

Allison Carmen on May 18, 2015

Sometimes it's hard to imagine how someone else could have another perspective when we feel so right about how we perceive a situation. But if we are willing to pause and think about why the other person feels the way that they do, we might open our hearts a bit and realize MAYBE there is more to the situation than meets the eye.

Sometimes it's hard to imagine how someone else could have another perspective when we feel so right about how we perceive a situation. But if we are willing to pause and think about why the other person feels the way that they do, we might open our hearts a bit and realize MAYBE there is more to the situation than meets the eye.

Happiness

A Path To Less Suffering

Allison Carmen on May 1, 2015

So what is the key to internal freedom and joy? In a word, it is acceptance. Acceptance does not change your passion or need for change, but allows you to “show up” in the moment with peace about what is, and strength and focus to make things different.

So what is the key to internal freedom and joy? In a word, it is acceptance. Acceptance does not change your passion or need for change, but allows you to “show up” in the moment with peace about what is, and strength and focus to make things different.

Relationships

If You Judge People, You Have No Time To Love Them

Allison Carmen on April 16, 2015

"If You Judge People, You Have No Time To Love Them." Mother Teresa Our judgments interfere with many of our relationships. Often we get so consumed with everything our spouse, child, friend or co-worker is not doing right, that we often forget to see what is special and wonderful about them.

"If You Judge People, You Have No Time To Love Them." Mother Teresa Our judgments interfere with many of our relationships. Often we get so consumed with everything our spouse, child, friend or co-worker is not doing right, that we often forget to see what is special and wonderful about them.

Stress

How Can We React Less to the Stress in Our Lives?

Allison Carmen on April 2, 2015

As our minds get consumed with stressful thoughts at home or work, this is the moment when we are most in danger of overreacting to situations like our children not listening, a disagreement with a co-worker or a difficult client. Here is a tool to help you show up with more ease, patience and kindness in all of your daily interactions.

As our minds get consumed with stressful thoughts at home or work, this is the moment when we are most in danger of overreacting to situations like our children not listening, a disagreement with a co-worker or a difficult client. Here is a tool to help you show up with more ease, patience and kindness in all of your daily interactions.

Anxiety

Finding The Sweetness in LIfe Even When Times Are Tough

Allison Carmen on February 28, 2015

I had just found out my mother had breast cancer, and I was walking to meet her for dinner. My mind was seized by the most frightening thoughts of losing my mother and what this illness would mean. All of a sudden, a beautiful breeze hit my face and an enveloping peace and joy ran through me. Was it okay for me to feel this joy when danger was looming over my family?

I had just found out my mother had breast cancer, and I was walking to meet her for dinner. My mind was seized by the most frightening thoughts of losing my mother and what this illness would mean. All of a sudden, a beautiful breeze hit my face and an enveloping peace and joy ran through me. Was it okay for me to feel this joy when danger was looming over my family?

Identity

A Story About James Gandolfini: Giving Up The Roles We Play

Allison Carmen on January 25, 2015

When James Gandolfini helped the struggling performer at the birthday party he dropped his identity as an Emmy-award winning actor and as a parent, and simply became one human being helping another. I began to understand that our role-playing in society could block a part of our humanity and not reflect our true identity. MAYBE being kind is our most important role.

When James Gandolfini helped the struggling performer at the birthday party he dropped his identity as an Emmy-award winning actor and as a parent, and simply became one human being helping another. I began to understand that our role-playing in society could block a part of our humanity and not reflect our true identity. MAYBE being kind is our most important role.

Stress

Do We Cause Our Own Emotional Suffering?

Allison Carmen on January 15, 2015

Are you constantly worrying about what your boss or friend thinks about you or how you will become successful in your line of work? How can we loosen our grasp on whatever is the root of our stress or worry? Maybe there is way!

Are you constantly worrying about what your boss or friend thinks about you or how you will become successful in your line of work? How can we loosen our grasp on whatever is the root of our stress or worry? Maybe there is way!

Pessimism

Seeing the Bigger Picture: Life Maybe Better Than You Think

Allison Carmen on January 11, 2015

Some of us tend to hyper-focus on the things that are bothering us. If we can find a way to stop looking just for the faults, we may also find what is wonderful and glorious. This is beyond being an optimist instead of a pessimist. It is seeing life in its entirety and realizing Maybe our lives are better than we think!

Some of us tend to hyper-focus on the things that are bothering us. If we can find a way to stop looking just for the faults, we may also find what is wonderful and glorious. This is beyond being an optimist instead of a pessimist. It is seeing life in its entirety and realizing Maybe our lives are better than we think!

Cognition

Positive Thinking For The New Year?

Allison Carmen on December 27, 2014

Many of us will make resolutions and set goals for the new year. We may want to start a new business, take a new job, save our money for a new home, get married and much more. In January, some of us will start pursuing these endeavors with hope and a positive outlook. But what happens when life throws us a curveball and something we never expected happens?

Many of us will make resolutions and set goals for the new year. We may want to start a new business, take a new job, save our money for a new home, get married and much more. In January, some of us will start pursuing these endeavors with hope and a positive outlook. But what happens when life throws us a curveball and something we never expected happens?

Environment

Are You Consumed by Your Thoughts?

Allison Carmen on December 5, 2014

A few years ago I went in a store, bought a drink, and left. A few minutes later I couldn't remember the face of the cashier or any observations about the store. I was so lost in my thoughts that I was completely unaware of what I was doing in the moment. I then started to wonder how many other parts of my life I was missing while lost in thoughts about the future.

A few years ago I went in a store, bought a drink, and left. A few minutes later I couldn't remember the face of the cashier or any observations about the store. I was so lost in my thoughts that I was completely unaware of what I was doing in the moment. I then started to wonder how many other parts of my life I was missing while lost in thoughts about the future.

During the holiday season many of us reflect on our past filled with regret. We forget that regret is a story we make up about how our lives could have been better if we had made another choice--but in reality, the twists and turns of that choice might have taken us to other, unexpected places and maybe not for the better at all.