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Like many, Prince’s music was a part of my generation, and the collective reaction—shock, dismay, grief—came from a place of losing so many artists in the past few months.
But, when someone suggested that Prince’s death may have been a suicide, I found myself reacting strongly. In my head (maybe even out loud!) I said, “I really hope that isn’t what happened.”
I knew something was up when I had that reaction. It’s not that I typically hope anyone dies by suicide. I’m used to hearing about suicide deaths, and empathic about what leads to them. I know that a lot of people who are successful in the public eye struggle privately with depression or other risk factors for suicide. I know that creative people are sometimes able to channel anguish into art. But, that knowledge wouldn’t help me with an answer to the question that would be asked if suicide had been the cause of Prince’s death.
I didn’t want Prince’s death to be a suicide because I knew I couldn’t begin to explain it. I couldn’t give reasons based in research, or a rationale that would let us rest easy. Whenever a public figure dies by suicide—truly, whenever anyone dies by suicide—the first question is “Why?” And that’s the least important question to answer.
This week, photographer and suicide attempt survivor Dese’Rae L.Stage shared a story on The Mighty, an online community aggregating stories about disability, disease, and mental illness. In her piece, Stage suggests that when our collective gaze shifts to suicide deaths, we lose sight of those who have attempted suicide and lived, as well as those who struggle each day to live, not to attempt suicide. She seeks to chronicle some of those stories with Live Through This, a photography and storytelling project focused on suicide attempt survivors.
The very important point that Stage makes in her piece is: When all of our eyes are focused on a sensational story about suicide, media can tell an equally sensational story about hope. The question to answer isn't why someone would take their own life. Instead, it's why someone chose to live, how someone moved forward with another chance at life.
Losing a public figure to any cause of death opens up an opportunity—while everyone’s looking and listening, what will be said? In the case of suicide, it’s not just about talking about prevention (risk factors, warning signs, hotline numbers, and community resources), but, as Stage says so well, media “can report the facts, but they can also instill hope in those who need it. We all need it sometimes.”
As I wrote this post, and sought out a document created by the Suicide Prevention Resource Center, I thought of my colleague Phil Rodgers, who worked for suicide prevention for many years. May his memory be a blessing to all who knew and loved him.
Copyright 2016 Elana Premack Sandler, All Rights Reserved
