Avoiding Risk Is Risky Business

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From the moment egg and sperm unite, we live in mortal danger. The question is not if we will die, but when and how.

“Count no man happy until he is dead,” wrote the Greek historian Herodotus. Nor should we count anyone safe until that greatest of all dangers has been passed through.

The Rise of Risk Aversion

Yet staying safe, rather than living fully, productively, and enjoyably, seems to have become the goal of many in the “home of the brave” turned home of the anxious. Politicians base whole campaigns on promises to “keep us safe.” Educators are obsessed with, if not successful, making classrooms welcoming and safe.

Universities, which should be intellectual battlegrounds where ideas compete, offer “safe spaces” meant to protect students from anything that might challenge or upset them.

The Importance of Risk-Taking

Much of psychotherapy involves helping clients dare to take risks. The propensity to take risks has been disparaged as a part of “toxic masculinity.” Yet to accomplish anything worthwhile requires risk. I’m not just talking about travel to Mars.

Dating, marrying, asking for a raise, starting a business, going to school, driving, having a conversation, eating a tuna sandwich—all of these normal activities involve risk.

Like all life forms, humans evolved to avoid danger. On the other hand, people—some more than others—have evolved to find risk stimulating, exciting, and exhilarating. This mixture of avoidance and attraction has allowed the risky business of life to carry on for millions of years.

Most Americans would probably say that entering World War II was worth the risk. Yet it’s quite possible that we would not risk it today.

One reason for the rise in risk aversion is simply a lack of practice. In the past, people had no choice but to take big risks. A hunter afraid to hunt would starve. Not so in the U.S. today.

Americans have become hyper-aware of negative outcomes. “The news” prospers by scaring people with headlines like: “The Silent Killer” and “Will (fill in the blank) Start World War III?” Some of the fears that we soak up from the media are warranted; many are not. Ebola is exceedingly rare in the U.S., yet it terrifies because it sounds so bad.

Parents, too, are more risk-averse than in the past and have passed this trait to their children. Much has been written about “helicopter” parents who won’t let their kids out of their sight. As a parent, I understand the temptation.

Parents have, in general, fewer children than they once did, thus more time to obsess over the ones they have. One result is greater fearfulness in both parents and kids.

Yet risk-taking is as important to individuals and society as it ever was. Without intelligent risk-taking, innovation stops. Culture petrifies and dies. No one invents the airplane or the internet. No one finds a cure for cancer.

On the personal front, people who don’t take risks lessen their chances for useful, self-actualizing lives. Some shy away from marriage and children. Others feel forced into those things, fearing to tell tradition, No.

Some limit their risks to video games. Others settle into jobs they hate and become increasingly anxious, angry, and depressed. Many are too full of fear even to look for help.

Sadly, plenty of people still follow the path of least resistance, and take foolish risks—dangerous drugs, irresponsible sex, gang fights, general criminality. Such people may be terrified to risk college or trade school, or trying to support themselves and those who depend on them.

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To hold off cultural chaos, children need to learn to take intelligent risks and deal constructively with conflict and disappointment when a risk doesn’t pan out. “Everybody gets a trophy,” though compassionate at the moment, may prove harmful overall.

Too much organized play can be a problem, limiting chances for children to take the risk of making their own mistakes, and thereby learning to find their way,

Affluence, by smoothing over life’s potholes, leaves more time for anxiety. Anorexia thrives when people have plenty to eat. Agoraphobia mainly occurs when people have houses to stay inside.

Just as attempts to insulate ourselves from germs may make us more susceptible, “safe spaces” can make people less safe. Avoiding pain can decrease our ability to cope when it comes.

Psychotherapy clients who have problems taking risks often present with other issues. Difficulties at work and in relationships may well grow out of aversion to risk. In treating such issues, a therapist’s theoretical orientation will prove less important than the therapist’s comfort with risk-taking.

A good therapist will not encourage useless or self-destructive risks but will support those taken wisely for a clear and beneficial purpose.

The therapist needs, as well, to realize the downside of self-scrutiny. “Self-exploration” is standard practice in psychotherapy. Yet, taken to excess, such scrutiny can increase anxiety and discourage even reasonable risk-taking. Ask an Olympic figure skater what will happen if, when she skates onto the ice, she imagines how bad it would be to fall.

Helping clients become more comfortable with risk requires helping them to make accurate risk-benefit analyses. The benefits of testing fighter planes may, in some cases, justify the risks. Piloting a relatively untried homemade submersible 13,000 feet under the ocean is asking for trouble.

Finding a Balance Between Caution and Adventure

It’s natural to shy away from risk, and just as natural to be energized by it. Finding a workable balance between caution and adventure is vital to leading a fulfilling life. Reckless risk-taking will likely end badly.

On the other hand, what sane person would choose to live in a germ-free, climate-controlled "safe space,” only to end up shivering in terror and regret as the end draws near?