Fatherhood has Changed, Father's Day Needs an Upgrade

Fatherhood has been on a trajectory toward greater intimacy, emotional engagement and fun for decades. Father’s Day has not caught up.

Not that spending money is the most significant way to celebrate dads, but it is striking that, despite the greater intimacy that both dads and their kids describe, Father’s Day is still the smallest of the gift giving holidays. And in terms of consumer spending, the National Retail Federation reports that Father’s Day is less than 60% the size of Mother’s Day.

Though fathers have surely always loved their kids, previous generations of dads have been boxed into relatively unemotional, more stoic roles like breadwinner or disciplinarian. Respect, rather than intimacy, was the rule, which explains why Father’s Day has only been a national holiday since 1972, while Mother’s Day has been a national holiday since 1914.

Family therapist Peggy Wynne has noticed a significant difference in how men parent in the past two generations. “With Boomers is was all about survival, safety and responsibility. Fathers were there to serve and protect - and it was serious. Today fathers are more willing to be playful, to have fun and enjoy their kids. It’s not just about being the provider.”

Indeed, today’s fathers have broader roles. According to the Pew Research Center, fathers who live with their children have more responsibility for the daily care of their kids. And they get to have more fun and emotional intimacy too. In their 2012 Marketing to Dads study, Mintel noted that today’s fathers aren’t just financial providers; they’re also today’s primary providers of family fun and as such more likely to be the primary spender of both time and money on family entertainment.

You can see a giant shift in the attention of dads, and their clear involvement in parenting, by noting how their brand preferences shift after fatherhood. According to Y&R’s “Who’s Your Daddy” study, Rubbermaid, Lego, Hallmark and Cheerios are among today’s fathers most desired brands. Unsurprisingly, none of these brands appear on the lists of men without children. And they were unlikely to have made it to previous generation’s of father’s lists of favorite brands. Which supports a 2014 Dove Men+Care study that found that 86% of men believe the concept of masculinity has changed from their father’s generation.

In previous research that I’ve conducted for Father’s Day, shoppers complain that they’re stumped with it comes to finding special gifts for their fathers. Given the elevated emotional stature and broader roles of fathers, here are four ideas to delight your dad on Father’s Day:

Man-pampering. Though today’s dads aren’t craving a day at the spa any more than previous generations of dads, they are craving special attention and pampering from their kids—especially if it comes with food. Homemade treats, breakfast in bed, a picnic or other dad-centered, food-related outings or goodies are top-of-the-list from fathers I’ve interviewed in previous years.

Engagement. Wynne points out that today’s dads are less about getting a gift that says “thank you Dad” and instead want a gift that unites them with their kids. “It’s not about honoring dad as much as it is about including him, so things like video games that can be played together are more valued.”

Activities. Men are doers by nature and, as we now know, they’re also often in charge of family entertainment. Planning an outing around dad’s favorite activities is sure to be a hit. It can be anything from tickets to a ballgame to agreeing to videotape his golf swing at the driving range.

Favorite Things. A few of the brands making it onto the “most desired” list of men both with and without children are: UnderArmour, Nike, Netflix, Levi’s, Kobalt and Apple. Perhaps a treat from one of these brands would do the trick for your father.

Happy Father’s Day!