Molly Howes Ph.D.

About

Molly Howes, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist with more than three decades of experience. In addition to seeing individual psychotherapy patients of all ages, she works with couples, including parents who are no longer a couple but still co-parenting. The presence of current conflict within relationships – as well as unhealed earlier hurt – has taught her the necessary elements of a thorough repair, that is, what makes a good apology. She finds herself serving as a “hope merchant,” carrying faith in people’s potential to heal and make wrongs right.

As a psychologist, she’s also engaged with research studying the interpersonal aspects of depression, the prevalence of mental health issues in general medical practice, and large-scale psychiatric epidemiology. As a person, she’s become a serious writer of nonfiction.

Her book A Good Apology: Four Steps to Make Things Right will be released by Grand Central Publishing on July 21, 2020. It’s a thoughtful, commonsense guide to the meaning and the means of making amends on any scale.

Recent Posts

When You Don’t Apologize, You Only Make Things Worse

When you hurt someone, it's on you to deliver a good apology. If you don't, you hurt the person a second time and make things even worse.

Why Does an Apology Have to Take So Long?

You might have said you're sorry, but that's not a full apology—yet! The whole conversation takes time.

How to Recognize—and Respond to—a Fake Apology

Before accepting an apology, you first have to determine if it is (or isn't) genuine. Looking for these key signs can help.

What’s the Hardest Part of Making an Apology?

The most difficult part of an apology is getting started, which involves purposely shifting your perspective toward the other person's experience.

A Public Apology by St. Paul’s School Looks Like a Good One

Some public apologies begin the healing for those harmed. Others, not so much. Good apologies take responsibility and make real changes.

Nope, What Rep. Yoho Said Was Not an Apology

Rep. Yoho’s recent statement resembled an apology to Rep. Ocasio-Cortez, but it wasn’t one — or, at least, it wasn't a good one.

Good Apologies Seem Impossible

It’s really hard to make a good apology, but you can learn to do it.

One Step Toward a Racial Apology

In this moment of heartbreak about the killing of African Americans, the search for greater justice and equity should include a national call for reparations for slavery.

How Not to Say 'I'm Sorry'

Many of us don’t know how to say a responsible “I’m sorry." Here are the best ways to ensure that the other person won’t feel better after your statement of regret.

The Top 15 Myths About Apologies

Do you recognize your own assumptions in these common misconceptions?