Watch Your Mouth! Mum's the Word on Body Criticism

For the past few years, I've spent a lot of time talking with women across the country about the ways that their feelings about their bodies affect the body image of their daughters. If you're constantly critical of your body, rest assured that it won't be long before your daughter starts to criticize her own body, too.

I was flipping through the latest issue of More magazine yesterday when I came across an item that caught my eye - a study by Tracy Tylka, associate professor of psychology at Ohio State University. Tylka's study found that the most powerful influence on body image was the opinion of others. "It turns out we look to whether others accept our bodies to determine whether we appreciate them ourselves," Tylka said in a release. "It's not our weight, but instead whether others in our social network appreciate us."

Feeling accepted starts - or doesn't - at home. Our girls want to know that we love and accept them, just as they are. They want to know that we think they're beautiful. And though we may tell them so, repeatedly even, the power of the old saying that "actions speak louder than words" can't be denied.

It happens like this: A young mom despises her "heavy" thighs, constantly making negative remarks and obsessively doing leg lifts daily as her little girl looks on, sometimes trying to imitate mom's exercises. As years pass, mom's litany of self-criticism continues while she tells her little girl that she's beautiful just as she is. Then one day, as the little girl morphs into a young woman, she passes a mirror where she notices - for the first time - that her thighs are shaped just like her mom's. In a single instant, she hears years of her mom's self-criticism and decides in that moment that she hates her "heavy" thighs.

Yes, it's important for our kids to hear messages of acceptance and positive comments from us. But it's also important that they hear us speak kindly about ourselves and others. Indeed, Tylka said of her study, "One clinical implication is to educate partners, family, friends and the media on the importance of accepting others' bodies and to stop criticizing people about their bodies and appearance."

I've yet to meet a woman who is 100 percent happy with her body, or who wouldn't like to change something about her appearance. But we don't necessarily need to give voice to our criticisms. If self-criticism is a habit you're trying to break, think about this: If you wouldn't say it to your child about her body, don't let her hear you say it about your own. Because in the end, helping your daughter to feel loved and accepted for who she is starts with loving and accepting yourself.