Couples360 Part 2: Successful Couples Therapy Elements

This is the second installment of our series on Couples360, a new collaborative therapy approach for couples counseling. You can access Part 1 of this series here.

As you learned in Part I, Couples360 is based on individual therapy for couples, each with his or her own therapist, and augmented by careful collaboration between the therapists. We like to think of it as an enhanced way to focus on the relationship itself, because we not only see the trees (with individual therapy) but also the forest, through collaboratively learning about the relationship’s dynamics while avoiding the blame game.

Successful Elements of Couples360 Therapy

The Couples360 collaborative therapy approach is comprised of the following elements:

• Introduction of the collaborative approach to each member of the couple. Confidentiality is discussed in the usual way, with a unique exception: information will be shared between both therapists on an ongoing basis. The therapists will then use their own judgment about how to use this information in their work with each their patient.
• Focus on the patterns, include details only when needed. The therapist should not unnecessarily reveal specific personal information to their patient about their significant other. The focus instead is on repetitive interactional patterns. Both strengths and weakness of each individual and the relationship should be discussed. Details can be quite powerful both in a positive and negative way, so discretion is necessary.
• Focus on reconnection. The couple is encouraged, individually, to revisit the strengths of their relationship, what brought them together in the first place, and to bring conscious focus to these areas with their partner. Commonalities of interests, communication in conflict free areas, and mutual activities that worked for them in the past are brought back to the surface.
• Empower the individuals. While the couple works with one another to strengthen their relationship, the goal is now to shift the focus from the relational conflict toward individual contributions to the partnership. Each patient is encouraged to acknowledge and to share his or her own feelings, hopes, disappointments, and subjective reality. They learn to de-escalate criticism of their partner while taking responsibility for their own feelings and perceptions. Sharing their inner life with their therapist and subsequently with their significant other can rapidly diminish the conflict and foster a sense of connectedness and well-being while greatly reducing the use of projection and blame.
• Parallel counseling. The focus now moves away from the interpersonal issues. As each member of the couple emerges more clearly, the relationship can then be reframed more realistically. The couple progressively shares with one another their growing awareness of themselves. Misperceptions and projective distortions of each other can now be addressed, with clarification and consensual validation through the ongoing collaborative sessions of the therapists. Also, with the growing acceptance of one’s own vulnerabilities, each partner can achieve greater acceptance of the limitations and strengths of the other.

Couples360 provides a bridge to join the knowledge and techniques of individual psychotherapy with those of the field of couples and marital therapy.

Collaboration between therapists, following individual sessions with each patient, provides opportunities to better understand both partners individually, to explore their relationship, and to attend to each partner’s contribution to the couple's areas of conflict.

Moreover, psychotherapy can be an isolating experience for the provider, and this technique helps each therapist to feel supported and to get feedback about their work.

Which brings us back to the name, Couples360. In business, ‘360’ is a continuous improvement process where employees receive confidential, anonymous feedback from the people who work with and around them. We have seen this process work just as well for relationships as it has for organizations.

With Couples360, each individual is part of a feedback loop that is tied to three other people: his/her therapist, the spouse’s therapist, and the spouse. Each has a way to communicate privately and send messages through safe channels. Each patient can be in the process of continually improving and an added bonus is that the therapist improves, too.

Through collaborative individual therapy and a unified focus on the relationship, the couple is supported and empowered from all directions. Empowered as individuals, they learn to strengthen, accept, and support each other.

Couples360 provides wraparound support for the therapists and the patients, and feedback from multiple sources and angles to continuously improve the individuals and the relationship.

In the next installment, we will discuss how to coordinate Couples360 therapy.