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Key points
- Everyday concerns and irritations play a big role in emotional well-being.
- Researchers have identified seven categories of common daily hassles.
- While everyday difficulties are an unavoidable part of life, there are ways to lessen their impact.
Many people I’ve treated as a therapist came to me after a major life event, such as experiencing a trauma or losing their job. But just as many were struggling with the everyday stresses that can make life difficult. While seismic changes have obvious effects on well-being, daily hassles can also erode your happiness.
The immediate effect of these smaller issues is less apparent, but the cumulative effect over time can be profound. Daily hassles have been linked, for example, to mental health struggles like depression and can lead to relationship conflict.
Researchers have studied the elements of life that contribute to everyday annoyances and stresses. In a classic study, over 2,000 participants responded to a questionnaire about their daily hassles; the researchers then subjected their answers to factor analysis, which identifies clusters of items that belong together. The results revealed the following seven types of daily hassles.
1. Internal
One of the biggest sources of daily stress is self-talk and inner struggles. This category includes things like having a hard time making a decision, concerns about getting ahead in life and whether you’re “successful enough,” fearing rejection, and regrets about past decisions. All of these inner concerns are wear and tear on your mental and emotional well-being.
2. Financial
Nearly everyone has concerns about money. For some, it’s wondering if they’ll be able to pay the rent this month or buy diapers for their baby. For others, it’s worrying about saving for their child’s college fund, paying down credit card balances, or how to ensure their own financial security in retirement. Even if you’re able to pay your bills each month, persistent concerns about finances can start to wear you down.
3. Time Pressure
Time is similar to money in that it often feels like there’s never enough of it. Work, family, friends, and other commitments all place demands on your most precious (but limited) resource. Time pressure can include not having enough time for sleep or relaxation, as well as too many interruptions. Or you might feel like you don’t have enough time to do your best work.
4. Work
Work-related hassles can include not liking your job or conflict with the people you work with (and for). Or maybe your work-related stress comes from the people you manage or from customers or clients. This category can also include identity-related concerns, such as gender-related struggles at work.
5. Environmental
Daily stresses about the state of the world are all the more relevant now compared to when the factor analysis on daily hassles was published more than 30 years ago. For example, nearly half of young adults recently said they feel daily stress about climate change. Other common concerns include political polarization, the 24-hour cycle of bad news, and fears about crime.
6. Family
Problems with family, such as children, siblings, or in-laws, often take a toll. Family concerns do not uncommonly tap into other sources of hassle, such as financial issues and time pressure. Stress can also come from issues related to the life of a family, like the upkeep of a house or apartment and the unending rounds of dishes and laundry.
7. Health
Illness and injury are common sources of stress, from the annoyance of a cold sore or an aching knee to more serious worries about one’s general health. Dealing with doctor’s visits, health insurance, and referrals adds another layer of hassle.
How to Ease the Strain
Daily hassles are unavoidable to some extent. However, you can lessen their impact in three ways.
1. Think: Shift Your Perspective
In some cases, you can relieve stress by thinking differently. For example, you might be too hard on yourself about how you use your time, which creates additional time pressure. Examine your thoughts carefully to see if they might be overlooking or exaggerating anything. There’s often an alternative way of seeing things that is more accurate and less self-critical.
2. Act: Change Your Behavior
Some daily hassles are avoidable with greater awareness and planning. For example, if too much clutter and too little space is one of your daily annoyances, pare down your possessions to make more room. Cleaning out my closets and drawers made a serious difference in my own daily existence in my house.
3. Be: Let Go of Resistance
Finally, see if you can make peace with some of your difficult experiences. Rather than struggling against what’s happening, you may be able to open up to it. I don’t mean pretending you’re OK with things you find annoying but allowing annoyances to be a part of life. They’re just part of the deal. Research has shown that hassles create a lot less suffering when we can treat them as inevitable aspects of what it means to be human.
References
Falconier, M. K., Nussbeck, F., Bodenmann, G., Schneider, H., & Bradbury, T. (2015). Stress from daily hassles in couples: Its effects on intradyadic stress, relationship satisfaction, and physical and psychological well‐being. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 41, 221-235.
Holm, J. E., & Holroyd, K. A. (1992). The Daily Hassles Scale (Revised): Does it measure stress or symptoms? Behavioral Assessment, 14, 465–482.
Mahlo, L., & Windsor, T. D. (2021). State mindfulness and affective well-being in the daily lives of middle-aged and older adults. Psychology and Aging, 36(5), 642–659.
McIntosh, E., Gillanders, D., & Rodgers, S. (2010). Rumination, goal linking, daily hassles and life events in major depression. Clinical Psychology & Psychotherapy: An International Journal of Theory & Practice, 17, 33-43.
