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Since the start of the spring season, I have been consulting with many athletes and parents who have expressed concerns regarding conversations between coaches and athletes. Coaches typically prefer that the athletes initiate a talk and speak to them if they have questions or concerns. But what about when the coaches should be talking? Let's discuss the importance of what coaches say and do (or not) and how it translates onto the field or court.
At the high school level, athletes are told to speak up for themselves about any concerns or questions that they may have. It can be difficult for parents to sit back silently and allow their children to have these difficult conversations. However, this is a part of an athlete’s growth process. Sometimes, the conversations go well and are productive, and everyone walks away feeling good. Other times, coaches take them with offense and hold it against the player, which may adversely affect when and where they play. Coaches need to recognize that it is not easy for every athlete to go to them and speak about a concern or situation that arises.
One crucial aspect I've observed while working with my athletes is the need for coaches to empathize with their players. It's essential for coaches to recall their own experiences as players and/or reflect on how they would feel in similar situations when it is their own children. Many coaches are unaware of their behavior, while others feel no need to justify themselves. This lack of understanding can hinder effective communication and team cohesion.
It is imperative that coaches speak to their athletes: Sometimes, either in college or high school, a player may not be played at their main position. They are confused about why they have been moved, which can hurt the athlete's confidence and make them question themselves or wonder what they did wrong. So many of my athletes who experience this often think it might be personal. Coaches sometimes do not even know that this is what the athlete is thinking. In order to handle emotional damage control, coaches should speak to their athletes and keep them in the loop. Some coaches feel like they do not have to do this. Others who are successful coaches do this to avoid resentment and ill feelings. Athletes are told to work hard and that it will pay off, but that is not always the case. It is a shame, but that is the world of sports. Some coaches have their own agendas, while others are working to develop and improve the athletes that they have; it all depends on the level. At any rate, communication is key.
Coaches who step up and explain their reasoning to their athletes are mindful and understand that this behavior empowers an athlete. As a coach, being able to empower your athletes is crucial for the player and the team’s development. This is such an underrated art in the world of coaching. Speaking to your athletes allows them to feel that they matter and that they are noticed. It takes a whole team to win a game, not one player or just one play. It is a series of events, conversations, and situations that build team chemistry to build rapport.
Be aware of what you are saying as a coach on the sideline or the field. Coaches will say things like be confident. Do not strike out. These terms psychologically create doubt and make the athletes question themselves. I often hear parents in the field yelling similar statements. Suppose you tell someone not to think of a green monkey. What is the first thing that comes to mind? Green monkey. So, when you tell an athlete to be confident or not strike out, subconsciously it turns negative. Always speak with the positive. For example, you’ve got this. Go ahead and smack that ball. Put that free throw in, or, you are better than you think. Create the mindset that you want and need from your athletes.
Coaches should recognize the players who will leave it all out on the field or the court and give them the opportunities they deserve to elevate their game. As coaches, you have the power to make the game fun, competitive and empowering.
Coaches, what you say or do makes a difference. The choice is how you want it to be viewed: Good or bad? Overall, some coaches can be great advocates for their athletes to play more effectively in a game, while others can rob their athletes of greatness. All coaches should strive to be the former.
